An Abomination

I always knew I was different…
I’m full of passion..
Well read..
I’m from a rich home…
So I grew up in plenty…

But then…
I really didn’t have it all my way…
Something didn’t seem to be alright…
I knew there was an emptiness inside me…

Not many people get the chance to study under Gamaliel…
I had that rare priviledge…
But those acquired knowledge are slowly threatening to be a waste…

I heard there was someome who died for me…
I have always grown up to hate him..
I thought it was all blasphemy..
I even decided to kill those who followed him…
Stephen was amongst many others…
I started having a rethink when I killed Stephen
Why would he smile instead of plead for his dear life…
Could it be that He’s seen something I haven’t?
I tried to fight off that thought…
I left for Damascus after I had killed some few people here…
On my way to Damascus..
I couldn’t help but still think about Stephen…
Why did he have to pray for me even when I killed him…
I was baffled…
And then I stopped by to have a drink…
In the bar, I saw a brother…
His name must have been Barnabas…
He was trying to convert someone…
He held them spell bound with his words..
Why haven’t I drawn my sword to kill him?
What is happening to me?
Stephen’s prayer must have worked..
I’m losing my verve to kill these Christians…
No!!
And then, Barnabas gave me a scroll…
I think it must have been written by Matthew…
It contained the deeds of Jesus Christ before he left…
I found myself reading it…

How wrong I have been…
But How can I make amends?

Dear Lord,
Yes, I’m back again…
I need you to put me back on track again…
You gave me the chance and I abused it…
But how can I get back again?
Can I even get across to you?

My name is Saul…
I’m a sinner…
Is this prayer an Abomination?

prayer

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