This piece is wholly fictional. Just one I played out with myself as the villain. None of these happened, I just loved the concept of having one’s heart broken by one’s self and decided to turn it into a prose. You know most times we are really in love with someone and we waste time letting the person know how we feel about them, this story was constructed in a way that ensures it relates with everyone. Don’t waste time, love is a beautiful thing, when done the right way. Read and don’t enjoy.
Ok, I ran to my laptop almost immediately. My heart was about to tear into shreds. I hope by the time I would have finished writing this, I would have gotten myself together.
I’ve been in love with some girl for over two years now. The first time I saw her, I liked her and I walked up to her, collected her number without making my intentions known (because I really didn’t know what the said intentions were at that point). Somewhere along the line, we became platonic (zoned maybe) friends without any single thing (not even a pin) attached. Then she had to leave to another state because of school. I didn’t see her again…until she had to leave that school and come join my school (her father is a professor in my school so I guess it was logical to switch over). Then we crossed paths again, there was the momentary exchange of pleasantries, I think we saw one more time this time she was in the company of a friend then I saw her again one afternoon. I walked her home, we passed her house and we kept talking…it took a whole lot of nerves to keep my emotions in check. But thankfully, I did. She started recanting her experiences during her one year away, and she mentioned having a boyfriend (my emotions unchecked itself) then breaking up with him (emotions checked) and staying on her own. At that point, I really didn’t harbour any intentions of dating her (she was more than a calendar to me) so we just kept being friends, we kept seeing and kept talking and my conviction was strengthened. As the days passed by, I was convinced she was the one, as the weeks passed by my heart kept longing for her, it was becoming strong. I still didn’t want to date her but I hadn’t told her how I felt about her. She had given me a clue the other day about how she was happy I was in her life (albeit as a friend, call it the friendzone although she didn’t mention the “friend” part *insert sad face smiley*) but I hadn’t told her what I felt. The reason was because, one, I felt it could lead us into a relationship and I didn’t think I had the time a relationship would require, two, I wasn’t sure of what the effect of that would look like. So I decided to just keep being friends with her and see what the climax would look like. That was the plan until I came across a different school of thought that said it was wrong to like a girl and not let her know. So I set out to let her know how I felt, now take note, I’m a “ladies’ man” (not that Bradley Cooper kinda) just the normal man aligned to the ladies so I don’t have a problem talking to ladies. There’s no lady in this world that I can’t walk up to (now that’s a bold statement) so I was surprised to find out that I was grappling with nerves. Why was I so nervous at the thought that I was about to make my (honest) feelings known. Ok, I was able to finally sort out the nerves; no big deal.
I called her, the intent was just to have a pure conversation and I was shocked. First, she stuttered while she picked the call, like she was engrossed in something, secondly, I heard a guy’s voice in the background, how could this be? She just told me she was in her room, ain’t no way a guy gonna come in there! Just as the call was about to end, I think she got tickled and I heard the guy’s voice again. I ended the call, dejected, heartbroken and forlorn.
I had just experienced a heartbreak from someone who doesn’t even know she’s broken someone’s heart. Why did I waste time? What makes this so painful is that, she must have felt I wasn’t ready ad I didn’t respond to any of the signals she sent.
I had just experienced a heartbreak…one inflicted by me upon me and no other. Pitiable.
I just pray these things are only playing out in my head and not real, I’m seriously praying the guy’s voice came from a TV set, or that it was a girl having a thick voice. Because it would mean, she also lied to me and that would make me wipe away that angelic soul I had always seen behind her smile and then I would have to start all over again. I don’t want to.
Lord, I really love this girl and you know I do, you also know she would say yes, if I ask her out meaning you have opened the door. I’m not ready to lose her, not now, not in the near future. Heal my broken heart.
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