Things I’m thankful for.
Alright, a little background. I don’t care about anything in this world.
I receive a supposedly frightening message from home that should send into panic mode, instead of run around and make some calls, I simply plug in my earpiece and jam to a Michael Buble song.
I’m given a task to perform with a stringent deadline at work, failure to do this can actually cost me a whole lot at work, but rather than get at it, I’m on Youtube, watching funny comedy videos of Akpororo, and my deadline ticks.
I receive a pulsating message from my crush, she’s gushing about how she likes me and all that stuff, I’m supposed to be excited yeah? But there’s no rush of adrenalin, I don’t even bother replying the message. I simply switch my screen back to my Poweramp music player.
I go through really cool stuffs on Instagram, beautiful pictures and all that, I double tap on a few and immediately switch to the “explore” tab to search for KlintonCod, the funny Instagram bloke. I laugh my ass off watching his short clips, and exit.
So there’s a job offer knocking on my door, the dream job everyone wants, and instead of giving them a swift reply, I wave it off and not bother. Because I don’t really get all that excitement. I go back to my diary.
So it’s my convocation, and everyone is pretty excited for me, no extra year, no problems, graduated right on time with not-so-bad grades, well, everyone is excited except me. I don’t understand the brouhaha and extravagance, so I go to work like it’s a normal day.
So there’s a mistake I have to take care of to avoid missing out on NYSC with my set, everyone is running around, and I’m seated like, hell yeah, I can always join the next batch. I get that evil look, I decide to give it a little push, but then again, I’m tired. I chill.
My phone falls to the ground, alas! My screen is shattered, fake uproars of pity around me, deeply, I wonder why they cry more than the bereaved. I pick up my phone, and continue my journey like nothing happened. Seriously, it doesn’t even bother me one bit.
I stay nine months without a smart phone, and they are wondering why? Considering I’ve got the money to buy a new one, I look at them and ask why I can’t use my Nokia Torch in peace.
I kneel down to pray, I try to conjure up a need, something I want, I can’t think of anything, an iPhone, I want
it, but I don’t care neither, so I just give thanks to God for borrowing me Oxygen daily, and jump back on my bed.
I try to upgrade to Android’s Marshmallow 6.0, it goes pretty well except, all my files are gone, my pictures, songs, documents, manuscripts. I try to feign desperation, it’s just not there. I move on, I will still take more pictures and re-download some songs. Nothing’s gone wrong.
I get a random email or message, an admirer telling me my blog is so cool, I should promote it regularly and all that stuff, I take a pause, I see all the stress that would require, I remind myself, I’m in no competition with anybody. I take a chill pill, and let it slide. A good work markets itself, if I’m really that good, no worries.
So I pack my bags one day and leave the house, I’m on a journey, I tell my peers. But I didn’t tell them, I wasn’t sure of my destination. But I leave, nevertheless. I don’t care if I get kidnapped or whatever, it’s none of my business to worry about that stuff.
They say I’m heartless, but how do I explain to them, that love isn’t my business right now? Oh! It’s so much stress explaining so I just keep quiet and soak in the rebuke. With hearts trailing by the roadside. Giacomo Casanova, they call me. Celibate Da Vinci, I call myself. Both Italians.
Background over. Enough of the antagonisms. I figure out, God deserves a worthy mention. I think up events I’m really thankful for…
For all the times I wake up late, and hurriedly dash to the bus stop, I’m thankful for always catching a car to work, against all odds (time, crowd of people waiting at the bus stop, my reluctance to struggle for a ride).
For all the times the conductor has threatened to rain down fire and brimstone if passengers don’t pay their exact fare (no change o, they would always yell), I’m thankful for always having change.
For all the time I mistakenly delete an important file, I’m thankful for Piriform, the company that created Recuva, the recovery app I always use to recover my files.
For that day I was busy checking my phone while driving on the highway, I’m thankful for not hitting the little girl that stood at the middle of the road, how I escaped her, I surely don’t know, must be God working.
For all the numerous times I’ve been careless on the steering, not looking at my side mirror before taking a turn, narrowly missing out on hitting maneuvering Okada men, I’m thankful.
For all the times when my problems get solved, despite me not giving a care about them, I’m thankful. I don’t know, I probably have a forerunner.
For the few wonderful people in my life, who still stay despite how shitty I treat them, I’m thankful. What would I do without you all? A lot actually.
For the many wonderful people who’ve left my life too, because they couldn’t stand my shittiness, I’m thankful. This space doesn’t need to be crowded.
However shitty I am, I still keep moving, you know why? It’s because I…