Starting Early: Girls

 

This is the third installment in a new series I started called “Starting Early”. It’s a chronicle of my early and first interaction with some of the things that come to define me today and how they have influenced me greatly. I would share stories of my first contact with Emails, Books, Music, Girls, Internet, Computers, etc. Enjoy! You can read the previous one on how I fell in love with emails here and the one on how I started writing here.

The first interaction I had with a girl was when I was two years old. I had this very beautiful cousin who was roughly my age too, she was a few months older. On my second birthday, we took a picture together in front of my cake, and the picture turned out fine. For some weird reason, everyone thought it was cool to refer to us as husband and wife despite the fact that we were cousins. We would play together, do the whole mummy and daddy games and all that stuff. I grew up getting fond of her until we grew apart at some point mainly because her parents had to relocate to another part of town so they couldn’t come over as frequently as they used to.

The second time was in primary school, I was in primary three or four, there was this girl names Fatima or something (or was it Folake, not sure), I must have forgotten her name. Fatima was one of the finest girls in glass. One time our class teacher, one Mr. Ajetumobi or something flogged me for flopping my book reviews. They had given me a book to read and review, but because I didn’t like the book, I chose another one and read, then came to review the book of my choice, he was having none of it, so he flogged me mercilessly. Fatima was the only person to console me in the whole class, she shared her biscuits with me so I would stop crying, I was crying really mercilessly without shame. Fatima was there by my side. That was how we got close and we became friends. One incident that makes me laugh till today – one time when we were done with school, I was waiting for the driver to come pick me up, and then Fatima walked by, and *drum rolls* I put my hands in my pocket, and then called her, she came and I asked her where she was going to, she said she was going home (wasn’t it obvious??), then with hands still in my pocket, I told her to go on. She gave me a hug and I think I tried to steal a kiss on the cheek like I had seen on TV, I only ended up getting one on her shoulder, I didn’t have the guts to go through with the original plan. I felt so good that day that I could call Fatima with my hands in my pocket and she could come. We would share our lunch and do every other thing together. You know, I’m not even sure her name is Fatima, but I’m pretty sure it starts with an “F”. I had to leave town abruptly and change schools so we lost touch. Never been in touch with her ever since. Didn’t even know I still harboured these fond memories of her before I started writing this.

There were several other interactions with girls but they were pretty much subdued because I had gotten involved in church, was a Child Pastor, knew the ills of adultery and fornication so I didn’t even bother coming close to girls. I used to be so immune to “girl-awe” that at some point people thought I was abnormal – it wasn’t a thing to be gay then so no one felt I was gay – but even at some point, I had to ask myself if I was normal until I met one girl. Her name was Stephanie, I was in JS 2 or something, she must have been the first girl I made knew I liked her, we were both young so it was a bit funny to us. She changed schools before anything could even materialize.

Hold on, I can’t really go about mentioning names. I’ve had encounters with a whole lot of girls. I remember one time I when I had to hide my number to talk to one girl in my class, I’d steal lines from those “200+ Text Messages” books and send her romantic messages about how my heart burns for her and blehhh, then one time I called her, she kept trying to figure out who it was until I blew my cover. I couldn’t even talk to her the next day in class. That was the end. Or was it the one time I sent a girl a text telling her I loved her, and then she called me almost immediately saying she loved me too and asked for us to meet the next day. I was freaked out, I didn’t know what it meant to love someone, I was so naive, the next day I ran away and kept avoiding her till she got tired and got angry with me.

So many funny memories. I grew up seeing a relationship as a sin, and basically trying to struggle against the desires of my flesh and the things I had been taught in church. That struggle continued all through my adolescence until I getting to the tail end of my teenage years. And I wonder what my life would have been if I was taught earlier on. The first time I felt I was in love or so, I remember asking myself if this was what if felt like, it felt so wonderful that I was angry that I had missed out all through the years.

On the flipside, that orientation helped me in my interactions with girls, was never distracted or neither did I try to be phony. As a result, I got very good with the girls, had many of them as friends, I think my best friendships have been with females. I also like the fact that I was introduced to this world of emotions late, at least it meant I was able to do something meaningful during my teenage years.

The first time I tried to ask a girl out, I had to google, then do rehearsals with my friends and memorized all my lines, it was quite funny, and then when it turned out well, I was happy. I remember all the taunts I used to get back in school from friends who always went through the length to remind me of how I was not making moves. So, when I finally got one over the line, at my first attempt too, I felt good. I actually have a good record of not having any girl say no to me ever. But that is also because I’m not driven by testosterone or other hormones. I would advice young boys to leave women, these days I don’t see them as a big deal, I don’t even think there’s any female I can’t walk up to, because I grew up seeing them not as sexual objects but as honorable species. That respect remains visible when I talk with them, it gets mutual.

So yeah, that’s my early experience with girls

 

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Fathers’ Day: Where is the Noun?

Few months to my Junior WAEC exams, I lost my phone in a public bus. I remember vividly the drama and scene I caused that day in the middle of the road as I made sure the whole bus was searched, I didn’t find my phone. I laid in the middle of the road begging for cars to crush me, no one paid attention, no one even came to drag me away from the road, even the motorists I had delayed did not honk their horn. I was chaotic and dramatic for four reasons;

The first being that having a phone then was a big deal. This was a period when GSM phones were still getting into Nigeria and were expensive, that I had one was a big deal. I had gotten used to the phone and the status it gave me, coupled with the fact that my phone number was special; it contained just three digits, was easy to memorise and recite. 

The second reason was that I had lost my only mean of communication with my mother. Then I used to live alone as my mother was faraway, she was in a place where there was no network so daily she made a short trip to a place where she could make calls and always called in the evening. It had become a ritual to always expect her call every evening. With my phone gone, there was no way to reach her and vice versa. I imagine the trauma she would have gone through when she didn’t get across to her baby boy that day.

The third reason was because I was also terrified of the punishment I was going to get from my mother. She regularly warned me not to take the phone out unless I needed to, she had threatened fire and brimstone on one particular day when I went out with the phone and narrated how it almost got lost. At that juncture, I wasn’t really thinking about my lost phone, I was more concerned with what my mother was going to do to me.

The fourth reason was that I had become so immersed in Nollywood that I was adrift of reality. I had felt that amidst all my drama, a good Samaritan was going to console me and buy me a new phone. I didn’t think anyone would see a barely twelve years old boy in such disarray and turn a blind eye. Guys, I was disappointed that day, in fact, I had sighted a man in a Mercedes and went to his door to cry, he quickly wound up his glass.

When my mom finally heard that I had lost my phone, to my surprise, she was not mad at me. She was more concerned with how her baby boy was going to cope because she knew how attached I had gotten to my phone (and all the wonders I did with it). Later on, she said she contemplated sending her own phone down for me to use since there was barely network where she was for her to use hers. You know, she actually bought a phone for me when she was coming back.

But this article is not about my phone or my mom. This article is about the aftermath of my phone story. I want to talk about the man who really became a pillar for me during my transition into adolescence. The day I lost my phone, I went to his office after all the shenanigans and cried. I told him about my phone and he told me not to worry. He told me to go home and relax, told me to concentrate on my upcoming exams instead. He was the one who broke the news to my mom. The next day, he was knocking on my door with a brand-new phone and a new sim card. No kidding! Like the very next day.

You see, I had little interaction or experience with my own biological father. He left when I was six or thereabout so I didn’t really know what fathers were supposed to do for sons other than what my mother did for me. But this man made sure I never had to worry too much about it. He bought me books regularly. When he saw my prowess with a computer, he quickly bought me computer books to read and hone my skills. Whenever he saw something beaming in me, he quickly bought me books. I owe my affinity for books to him and my mother. What did he not do for me? I always looked forward to seeing him or going to his office because there was always a gift waiting for me. He’d take me round his office then and tell everyone I was his son, you needed to see the confidence on my face.

The phone incident was one of numerous instances when he was there at my aid. Oh, and there was also a period when I hadn’t paid my school fees and I was sent home, I just went to his office from school, that same day he gave me the money and told me to go pay my school fees. I can’t even start, or was it the time when someone was harassing me and he called his Police friend and they brought their Police vans to make a statement. With him I always felt secured, I did whatever I wanted to do because I knew people had my back. 

I didn’t understand it then but I now know what that face on my mom’s face meant. I know she must have been relieved to see her son happy and have a father figure to always run to. I was too young to even understand it, like this man had a family compete with three children. But he introduced me to everyone in his family. They all knew my name. he always called me “my friend”, till today he calls me friend.

Today is Father’s Day and I want to say thank you. Thank you for filling that void, you are a grandfather now so you’re not lacking adulations and I know your children and grandchildren are the luckiest set of people in this world. Thank you for all those years when you stood by my side and held my hand. You make the word Father more than just a mere noun to me.

Your Friend,

Miracle Roch.

Dear Future Wife

Baybee,

The mere thought of you makes me smile as I write this.

Nothing would give me greater joy than to become a husband you are extremely proud of, one who is not only your lover but your best friend. I can’t wait to see us crack dry jokes and laugh our ass off as we raise our beautiful kids and train them in the way of the Lord.

Baby I can’t wait to have you in my arms, I know the feeling is mutual but if we must have a lifetime to do this, then we have to be patient. A little time sacrificed now in return for forever looks like a good deal. I am writing to keep tabs on you and be sure you are gearing up for us. I am not in a hurry, you shouldn’t be either.

Baby ain’t nothing better than both of us living out God’s purpose on earth for us, you know that’s the best thing ever. I hope you are growing in your knowledge of Christ as I am, can’t wait for those early mornings when we literally have to drag ourselves out of bed to spend time in prayer, I look forward to our intense discussions as we study God’s word with your head firmly rested on my laps.

I also look forward to sex. You see, there are several things to love about you before it comes down to physical appearance. The beauty of your soul and the aura that comes with being with you far outweigh the thrills of sex. Our love isn’t based on physical appearances, nor any of those other things our society has laid out as criteria. I look forward to pouring decades of virginity into you, I look forward to getting satisfaction from your breasts. We are so getting this thing right that our guardian angels must get jealous while watching as we hit the bumpy ride.

I honour you. My Proverbs 31 woman. When I’m out with friends, I will extol your virtues with pride because you are all these and more. I have no worries about you being submissive like Ephesians 6, because I will live an exemplary life. I will make it easy to submit because I will treat you with respect and love. I will love you with every bit of life I have got. We will be exemplary characters in forgiveness, love and integrity. We will both lay strong foundations for our kids to do greater things on earth.

I am not a big fan of the kitchen but it won’t stop me making you great surprise meals. I can’t wait for mornings when you wake up and you feel cramps from your period, or when you get pregnant, I hope you have been practicing how to eat on your bed because I will make you the best breakfast in bed ever. I look forward to days when I come back tired and jump on the bed like a child because I know your soothing hands would soon caress and massage my stiff back. I low-key live for these moments.

I know it’s not all going to be a bed of roses, but I can assure you that we will work it out. For times when we hit our low, I promise that I won’t give up. I will not look back, it’s a lifetime promise of “being present” that I offer. I will always be present even when it doesn’t feel like it. I can assure you that no matter our troubles, I will always be present. You can count on me.

Our love will not be premised on what we see on TV. No matter how emotional we get watching movies like “Fault in our Stars” and “Me Before You”, we will not get carried away as we know that the best example of the love life we would have is Christ. We will love as He loves – without condition, without fear and prejudice. We know this is the way because he has shown us.

We will be vulnerable to each other because it is in moments of weakness that we consolidate on our strengths. I’m taking my time to make sure we get it right. I hope you’d wait for me, I promise not to dilly dally too much. Let’s take our time and savour the present. I can’t wait to walk you down the aisle and make you my wife. Thinking about it has to be the greatest thing ever. I pray for you every now and then; I hope you are doing the same too, for only God can keep us sane while we wait.

I love you Babe.

 

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Starting Early: Writing

 

This is the second installment in a new series I started called “Starting Early”. It’s going to be a chronicle of my early and first interaction with some of the things that come to define me today and how they have influenced me greatly. I would share stories of my first contact with Emails, Books, Music, Girls, Internet, Computers, etc. Enjoy! You can read the first one on how I started writing emails here.

Image Source: The Black Homes School

Image Source: The Black Homes School

I’m laughing as I write this.

Today someone asked me when I started writing, and it made me look back in time. How and when did writing become a thing for me? No clear answer, but allow me share some random experiences I’ve had with people and things over the years.

Let me start by talking about Naija Stories. You see, seven years ago, I used to spend all my internet time going through the Naija Stories website. At one point, I had read every single thing they had on their site. As a matter of fact, it was reading the stories on NaijaStories that make me think I could write as well if not better. I registered to be a writer, although I never posted anything, but that was the first step. I think spending so much time reading stuff over the internet had rubbed off on me, I know this because I rarely visited the NaijaStories site as much as I used to before I created my own blog.

Another random story is that I joined Facebook in 2009, and then I used to do this thingy I called “Miroc FM” every evening. I called it an Online Radio, and I’d usually sum up some of the things I’ve been up to and news around in the world in a Facebook Status Update. Then I used to spend time reading though new on Yahoo! And MSN too. Miroc FM did really well, I used to get loads of comment from people looking forward to the next post and dropping their reactions. It was a good thing to have, maybe if I had a mentor, it would have metamorphosed into a conglomerate now, who knows!

In high school, my classmates used mock me by saying my father was a newspaper vendor. This is because every day after school, I would stop by the Newspaper Vendor spot at the bus stop and read newspaper for hours. I’d stay there till evening reading through papers and engaging in debates and arguments with older men who came to read as well. I would argue with my school uniforms still on. What a statement. They called people like me members of the Free Readers Association, people who would read newspapers but never buy. That was misleading though, as you had to pay a token to read. My classmates didn’t understand my quest for knowledge inside newspapers. They felt newspapers were for old men, for our parents not young boys like us who had school books to face. While they stayed back after school to play football and talk to girls, I’d hurriedly leave for the Newspaper Stand. This was way before Online Media became a thing.

A little background on why I loved reading. I was privileged to grow up while my mom was getting her Undergraduate degree. So because I rarely left the house to play with kids, I had to find ways of keeping myself busy, so I would regularly pick my mom’s lecture notes and Text books and read. One of such books remain stuck to me, the title was “The Cooperative Identity” by one Emenike or something. I even created a song from the title of the book. I loved reading that book. I read the other complicated books too, mind you I was around 7 years old when I started reading all these university books. In Primary school, me and my classmates used to battle for the fastest writer while the teacher wrote on the board. In a bid to always win that contest, I had gotten used to writing practices at home, I would recopy random things till my book got filled. I also grew up looking at my mother’s diary from the 90s, way before I was born. I remember one touching day while I read her diary entries from the period when I was pregnant, I could feel her emotions as I read her entries about being scared she had miscarried me. It think this was my first interface with how important it was to document things. This helped me a great deal when I was in the Debate Team, I won most of my debate battles because I was sure of my points and could defend them.

Years later I remember I had a special diary where I recorded all details about one of the World cup tournaments. From scorers to major events. Every single thing, from the beginning of the tournament till the Final. At some point, I used to keep a diary of what I wore every day. Nothing I didn’t write about or read

Credit must also go to my mom. She used to have all kinds of book around the house. I remember reading Julius Caesar and an 8-year-old and getting confused. I had to show her words I didn’t understand she duly explained them to me. I was reading books way too strong for my brain back then. From Politics to Relationship to Personal Development. I then had a senior friend who loved my quest for knowledge and made it his duty to always buy me books. It was delirious, I had several books. I would stay up all night reading books, oblivious of my immediate environment, even shunning food.

Wow! Some of these memories came as I was writing, some of what I have described are almost 20 years old, so you can imagine the nostalgia I was going through as I described them. I might be a special child after all. There’s more but I think these will do for now.

So when did I start writing? I can’t put a time to it. But I’ve been in a romance with the pen and paper ever since I can remember, albeit in different forms and expressions.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

I am not a Fraud

 

I didn’t forget the ethos of this blog. I didn’t forget that what has made this blog dear to me is the platform it has given me to tell MY story from MY own lens. I know I haven’t written a great deal about myself in recent times, I know I have managed to fraudulently stay consistent (one story a month) even though I haven’t been that committed. I apologize guys, it was not intentional.

No, it was not writers block. I did not get tired of writing, actually writing remains about the only thing that gives me life (asides my new amazing phone of course), but I haven’t written because I have actually been struggling with the very subject of my writings – me. What do I write about myself when all I’ve been doing is get stuck in a loop of cyclic redundancy (I stole that line from Windows).

Honestly guy, I don’t know how I have managed to remain on point. My life looks lit, and it is! There’s been a conscious attempt to get killed by enjoyment (since there has been no one to follow me go). Thing is I have become too carefree to even view anything from my own lens. I go through lots of experience daily but I have become too unbothered to care what I think about them. My unlooking levels just hit a 101.

Sadly, this post isn’t going to give me a jolt of consciousness like I hoped it would. Chances are after writing this, I’d go back to my pretty mundane life of work-home-work. I try to diffuse that banality by doing things like eating plenty food, and spending more money on food. But even that hack can only work to a certain point.

Don’t get me wrong guy, I’m not depressed or sad. My life isn’t going through a crisis, but I’m just too darned to care about what I do outside work. It’s a been a miracle how I have managed to stay on track at work and in life. Even though the Beauty Formula’s facial scrub which I bought for a ridiculously high amount couldn’t stop the zit I noticed on my face this morning (after spending all that money, this life eh!).

Every day I go to bed, the only thing on my mind is to ensure I don’t wake up a fraud. I care so much about not being fraudulent. When I have my sessions with God (they have become so informal, a rarity these days), the only question on my mind is “God, am I a fraud?”. I don’t even preach so the question of whether I practice what I preach doesn’t come up, I have become a man with no voiced opinions.

You see, honesty matters a great deal to me. Lately I’ve done a whole lot of reading about renowned fraudsters like Bernie Madoff, Jordan Belfort and the likes and I cannot for the heaven of me fathom how human minds can be deliberately and intentionally deceitful. It is something I cannot stand, yet, I know that, being a fraudster isn’t something people set out to do which is where the conundrum sets in (more on that in subsequent posts, maybe?).

Whenever I walk into my bathroom and stare at my semi-naked body in the mirror, it gives me joy knowing I am not a fraud. Gives me happiness knowing there is no skeleton in my cupboard, gives me joy knowing I still have a good heart, knowing that I am not doing stuff I am not proud of. And that is the key to my sanity. The fact that even under relenting pressure, there’s only so much as to what I can do. That makes me happy every morning, waking up to the fact that my boundaries still exist.

I am not a fraud. I stay true to my personal motto. Now, are you a fraud?

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

#IWD2017 – I Have Loved Only One Woman

There’s a woman in my life who has been there all through and she’s the only one I have loved completely.

When I was six years old, she had to stay away from me. The six months while she was away was hell, I kept seeing her shadow everywhere. I couldn’t stay without having her around the house, I’d go to bed crying, I’d head to the dining table with teary eyes as I munch my food. It was worse in school, I couldn’t concentrate. Before that term, my worst end-of-term result had been 3rd position (which happened just once), this particular term when she was not around I came 16th. It was a total disaster.

The theme for the 2017 International Women’s Day was “Be Bold For Change” and this particular woman has exemplified boldness all through my life.

Her first act of courage and boldness was housing me in her stomach for 11 months, you know she went against prevailing medical advice to have me shunted out of her womb dead and persevered to house me no matter how long it took. More than two decades later, the significance of that singular decision continues to be on the rise. It set the tone for countless daunting acts she undertook.

Been raised singlehandedly by one woman is no small feat. This woman did a great job raising me, she gave me the freedom I needed at an early age to express my exuberance and grow on all fours. Countless times, I’ve seen her put her hand on the plough and not look back against all odds.

If there’s anyone who has been bold enough to effect change, it is this woman. I’ve learnt perseverance from her. At a time when the calls for equality and women rights are becoming mainstream, it is worth noting that the woman I have known and loved is one who has never allowed the misguided construct of society to stop her from getting what she wanted.

You know why this is profound? Never for once did I see her fight for something that wasn’t to my benefit. When she was buying her first car, she kept looking for a car that would be easy for me to drive. When she was getting her first mobile phone, she let me make the decision, as she wanted something I’d like. When it was time to make a new hair, she always made sure it was something I’d be comfortable with (in all honesty, I had no clues about female hairstyles either ways).

If society must improve perception towards women, then we must go back to individual experiences and first contact with women. I didn’t grow up seeing women as the weaker gender, on the contrary, I grew up seeing the Woman as the brain and engine. It is that image that has stuck with me on the way up.

If women are to be championed for change, then we must allow them do what they are capable of. I didn’t grow up seeing a woman waiting on society to offer a convenient environment for her to go after her aspirations; I grew up looking up to a woman who took the bull by the horn. Not once, not twice.

At the slightest hint of discomfort for her six-year-old boy, she left all she was doing and came to get me, and believe me, this was not a convenient decision. She knew I couldn’t live without her and she was prepared to offer me that security and assurance of thought.

I have come to know a woman who has never failed to put me at the crux of all the major decisions she’s had to make in life. She is the first woman I have loved; if there’d be a second, she’d have to take lessons from the first to even come close.

This is a tribute to my mother; my best friend.

I love you.

Son,

Miracle Roch.

The Book doesn’t end in Malachi

…and doesn’t stop in Revelation neither

People don’t like to long read stuff over the internet. They’d rather you keep it short and simple. This is why sites that post long essays – Wait But Why, Aeon, etc – have some sort of holy grail following. The reason is because the few who actually remain dedicated to those sites don’t stumble on them by accident; they are intentional.

I want to limit my posts to 500 words. Previously, I had set the range of my posts to between 700 and 1000 words, not like I set this range intentionally but I realized that somehow my posts always fell between this range. I’m not doing this because I want to conform to the short reading time of this generation.

There’s a great advantage to being concise. It gives you objectivity and purpose, this is why Twitter has become so popular among a generation so ridden with distractions yet yearning for objectivity. This is why unusual artists like Beyonce, Lecrae, Chance The Rapper, etc have such a huge following behind them. They know how to be concise and not beat around the bush.

Conciseness gives you power; the power to dictate flow. However, one of the limitations of concision is the inability to let you get into the head of the reader. This is why most Oscar winning movies are unusually too long – The Revenant, Titanic, Theory of Everything, all prove this point. Concision does not give you ample opportunities to get into the head of the reader (or judge).

There are compelling cases for both sides of the coin but there are no middle grounds. You can’t be concise and get into people’s heads. This is why minds who have been able to achieve the two deserve a great deal of mention. Being intentional is such a great deal in a world ridden with “fake news”, fake love and fake people.

Over the last few weeks I’ve read extensive works on the history of Jacob Fugger and Arthur Guinness, and there’s a striking similarity between these two men who lived in two different periods in history. From creating a thriving Banking system in Medieval Europe to creating a Brewery still standing the test of centuries, I’m convinced that these two were intentional from the start. If they weren’t, Arthur wouldn’t have moved to Dublin nor Jacob remain in Augsburg.

I am looking for intentional people, I want to be intentional. To be intentional means to be concise, to be succinct, to create social palindromes that drive home the point long after you’re gone and derailed. To be intentional is to always have your eyes on the prize at all times. Napoleon met his waterloo at Waterloo because he let his eyes slip off the prize for just a second. To be intentional is to be a visionary.

Most importantly, to be intentional is to realize that the book doesn’t end in Malachi.

I did this in exactly 500 words.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Starting Early: Emails

This is the first installment in a new series I started called “Starting Early”. It’s going to be a chronicle of my early and first interaction with some of the things that come to define me today and how they have influenced me greatly. I would share stories of my first contact with Emails, Books, Music, Girls, Internet, Computers, etc. Enjoy!

Source: checkupnewsroom.com

I created my first ever email address in 2002, I was only 8 years old then. The email was “imo4real98@yahoo.com”. The first email I tried was “miracle@yahoo.com” but it was already taken, I had tried several variations of my first name before I decided to use my initials. “imo” are the initials of my first name arranged in no particular order. The first email exchange I had was with an Uncle who lived in “America”, and then subsequent email exchanges with people I met in chat rooms (more on that later)

The actual word “imo4real98” was suggested by the cybercafé receptionist where I sat. I didn’t think too much about it, I was just happy to finally get an email that was not taken, and I wasn’t born in 1998 neither, but maybe she felt I was; I was definitely so small as an eight year old, I must have passed as a four year old in her sight, or maybe it was just random. “for real” sounded like the mark of authenticity in those days (akin to “official” and “real” these days). It’s fifteen years now and I still have that email (although not really really active, prefer Gmail these days). There was a period when it became redundant for over three years, but I was able to recover it. After being used to the world of emails, I switched to “kenspaco@yahoo.com”, the inspiration came from my obsession with the name “Kenneth” as a kid, I loved the name “Kenneth”, I’m struggling to remember the source of my obsession right now.

I also created an AOL account and a Hotmail account but I used Yahoo! more than the rest because of Yahoo! Messenger. I also used Hotmail often too because I loved their light blue background, and because of one other feature that I can’t remember now. Oh, and I also had to falsify my eight on numerous occasions because I could find my year of birth on the dropdown list.

I’ve lost “kenspaco”, and it didn’t fly as a nickname neither because my classmates as at that time were either dunces who knew nothing about emails or they were just being annoying and would rather stick to calling me “mmiri oku” (an Igbo variation of my name meaning hot water).

Because I didn’t have a computer then, I was always at the Cybercafé. I would always rush to the cyber café after school and stay there till dawn. One of my early obsession was Yahoo Messenger. I was told there was a chat room where you could chat with people from other countries, and because the person I watched using Yahoo Messenger always went to the “Romance” Chat room, that was where I always went. Back then, I didn’t know it was odd for an eight-year-old to be in a romance chatroom, neither did I understand what “Romance” really meant. I had thought that was just the only chat room, in hindsight I now understand how and why everyone was always shocked whenever they came to my computer screen. I did meet so many people from that Chat Room, most of them would send me vulgar and explicit private messages which I didn’t understand but I would play along with them in a bid to sound smart. Most of those friends are nowhere to be found now anyways.

That early introduction led me into a decade old obsession with Yahoo! The Yahoo homepage was an invaluable news source for me as it covered every segment and category. It would be another thirteen years before I would create a Gmail account. Even as a full-fledged adult now, I cringe from time to time whenever I remember Yahoo!’s demise, really sad stuff.

I shared the story of my early introduction to emails because my initiation into the world of emails has had a great influence on how I like to conduct my businesses these days. I love emails, I’d prefer you send me an email even if it’s a one liner. I also love closing my emails with a remark. My strong affinity for emails certainly has roots in my being introduced to it at an early age. That was the first thing I knew I could do with the internet — send emails, before the other things. It also tells a great lesson in loyalty and efficiency, I remained with Yahoo! despite the mass exodus to Gmail, but the minute I used Gmail and saw how effective it was, I didn’t think twice.

In a nutshell, most of the things we have become strongly attached to these days all have roots in our mode of initial contact with them.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

A Little Love

Everything that goes on around you depend on one factor. You can control the outcome of your actions if you get this one factor right. Most of the struggles you go through right now will evaporate into thin air in one flash if you get this factor right.

I am talking about the state of your heart. The state of your heart determines how the other things pan out. The heart is telepathic and magnetic; it wants what it wants but will only get what is it. Tit for tat.

I am going to share some stories to show you examples of how the state of your heart really is the most important thing.

Many years ago, on Christmas day, we didn’t have so much in the house but we were happy. Our hearts were in sync. So we cooked the little rice we had and made stew with tin tomato pastes. While other households used chicken and whatnot, the only luxury we could afford was fish.

My friend came around the house that day and he was served our rice and stew with fried tilapia fish with a sachet of water, pretty mundane for a Christmas day buffet. But remember, we were happy and served that food with joy without any remorse of feeling of being short-changed.

My friend ate that food, finished it and was very happy. We both left the house after he was done to go round and visit folks. Everywhere we went to, we were served delicacies much better than what we had at home in face value. But my friend continually made a statement everywhere we visited that day, and that particular statement stuck ever since.

He kept telling folks we visited how I wanted to kill him with food in my house, how he ate and enjoyed the food in my house. Guys, I know he was blabbing, don’t be deceived. It was normal everyday white rice and tin tomato with just water. We were offered (and ate) awesome delicacies at the different places we visited, so there was no way what he ate at my place could have resonated.

Alas! He wasn’t blabbing. He did enjoy that food. The things that matter in life are not ephemeral, they are not even tangible. The most important things in life aren’t physical, they cut beyond the physical five senses and logic.

Looking back to the events of that day, it’s easy to see why he was proud of what he ate at my place; it was served in love. Like we were so happy and proud of what we had, we shared it in love. Nothing beats that, love. The state of our heart was so right that it became infectious. Once the state of your heart is right, it’s so easy to get things going in your favour.

It doesn’t take the whole world to get your act right, so many of you have gotten your heart deeply interwoven in the fabrics of deceit and hate. Everything that goes on around set on autopilot, there’s no realness anymore. It may not even be your fault, as you’ve been so deep into it that you can’t change nada anymore. I mean, I remember so many years ago when I unintentionally used to tell a lie, I had told that lie for so long that subconsciously I began to saw it as truth. I told the lie with the confidence and dexterity that would normally accompany a truth. Not until I realised one day that it was really a lie did it stop.

So I understand how you can get deeply woven into things without knowing. For some of you, it could be deep seated hatred towards someone for something that happened years ago, granted you might have outgrown the event but somewhere in your heart, it still rings a bell. These things don’t go off without intentional effort. For some other person, it could be something really trivial, I mean, we all have people who smile and laugh with you but go behind your back and say all sorts. It may not be intentional, actually, sometimes it’s never intentional, it’s just something that has to do with the state of their heart.

The only way to correct an ill state of heart is by throwing tiny flashes of love into your heart. It’s akin to darkness, you never chase away darkness by “shuuing” it, you chase darkness by bringing an anti-darkness – you bring in a tiny bit of light. When light comes, darkness goes missing, it gets superimposed, once light goes off, darkness needs no invitation to come back. So throwing tiny bits of love here and there isn’t enough, make it consistent.

I’ll leave you with a verse from Glen Campbell’s song Try a Little Kindness;

You go to try a little kindness

Yes show a little kindness

Just shine your light for everyone to see

And if you try a little kindess

Then you’ll overlook the blindness

Of narrow minded people in the narrow minded streets

 

Stay True!

 

Miracle Roch.

 

Sweet Sixteen

Twenty Sixteen was my best year ever. When I crossed over to this year, I asked God to make it a memorable year for me and He sure did. There were so many memorable moments, so many “firsts”. When I see people complain about how bad 2016 was for them, I feel bad really, because I had a blast this year. I can’t share it all in one post, but I will share a few.

I got a new job this year, got a new house, made giant strides professionally and socially. Oh, I also got a live radio show gig. Bonkers! Above all, I met really nice people. God really used people to pull me through. There was never a time when my future looked blurry, God always had a plan waiting for me. One of the scriptures I always use to describe growth is Luke 2:52.

I grew in Wisdom, like when I go through some of the professional work I did this year, I’m amazed. A year ago I knew nothing about Financial Models and some really deep strategic stuff but look at me now. Wisdom comes from a deep-seated place in the Spirit. It is the Spirit in you that births original insights, concepts and ideas. I had so many “this is it” moment after many brainstorming sessions. It didn’t come from thin air, it came from a deep-seated pool within. I read about 10 books this year, which was quite below my numbers. I have an excuse for this but it’s not a valid excuse so I’d just keep it to myself.

I grew in stature, I grew taller but there’s yet more work to be done. I was too lazy and complacent this year to gym, I really hope to change that next year. But asides the eternal longing for broad shoulders and abs, it’s all good. Stature is only physical. There’s also the mental stature. You see this year, I became very staunch in my paradigms and actions, I was proud of my actions and stood by them, I was not easily swayed by the tides. That’s stature you know. It helped me evaluate my actions better and make changes where applicable.

I grew socially, I really met some cool people this year. One thing I learn this year was to carefully sift my audience, and throw out any form of negativity. I realized how powerful people and their words carry, so I decided to only stay around people whose words edify and grow me. I did throw a few people out, but I let in even amazing people. It’s just so amazing when you have conversations with people who are on the same pedestal with you. I also learnt to love people irrespective of their beliefs and actions. I learnt to see people from a neutral lens, it really helped me get close and learn a whole lot form different people.

I really met some awesome people, people were unusually kind to me even when I was undeserving. Like I was so shocked, I tried to reciprocate the kindness I got but it was increasingly difficult. God used my interactions with people this year to show me that He really does stuff on earth through people. I’m working on being a good friend, you know, the thing with being as carefree as I am is that nothing really bothers you or keeps you awake at night. So it means I lost pace with so many people, in twenty seventeen, I will try to really become a better friend and keep in touch.

I grew spiritually. There was some level of spiritual maturity I attained this year. This part is was laid before this year, you see, every path I trod this year was carefully orchestrated by God, this year was just me walking on His blueprint. I couldn’t have even made it without him. There were numerous times of course when I felt so lazy that we didn’t even spend time together, but the few intimate times we spent always made up. This year, I fell in love like romantically with the Holy Spirit. You have no idea. The Holy Spirit is such a darling, I could literally feel him making my pulse race. If you really want to have a good twenty seventeen, you have to ignite your relationship with God.

See, it’s not about God, it’s about the fact that there’s some level of connection that enables you operate outside the realm of the physical world of five senses. It’s not about a religion and set of laws, it’s a relationship. This year, we had so many dates, it was lit!

Learn to love your presence and self, I learnt to retreat from groups or conversations that didn’t add value to my life. I loved staying alone, dancing in front of my mirror and praising God. You don’t always need to go out, sometimes just stay home and sleep if you don’t have anything else to do. Learn to keep quiet. Mary kept God’s words to her heart. Can God tell you something and be confident it won’t end up as public gist? In the multitude of words, sin abounds. Sometimes delete your Twitter and Instagram, stay off Social Media for some time and get your act together. Don’t be locked into this fast paced environment that you end up losing touch of the very thing that counts – your humane soul.

So that was how my year went. You can bet twenty seventeen would better. Oh and yes! I did not fall in love with anybody, I remained single and celibate, and guess what? It felt so good that I think I would continue the trend in the new year too. Don’t let society trick you into thinking you must be in a relationship to become somebody (more on this later in the new year).

From my heart to all of you who read all the things I post on this blog, thank you for staying with me through my intellectual sinusoid, I really do love you all. Let’s do this again (and more) in the coming year.

To read about my 2015 review click here, for 2014, click here

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.