For all the things people say about Love, I think the most pressing, which is often neglected, is that love waits. Love, when you sight the gold spot, waits, and perseveres. I don’t see so much perseverance these days when it comes to the different expressions of love that have marked our generation.
Marriages fail these days because, among other things, love acts fast. Sibling rivalries reach new heights because love chooses to act fast.
I am a man, who has been in “love” at different stages of my life and with different people, and I can say that for the different expressions of love I had at different times, the ones that failed were the ones where I was not patient enough.
When my main love expression was keeping you company through the night while you rambled about your dreams, I was not patient enough to realise that on some nights, you just wanted to be on your own.
For another, when it was dragging you to night reading sessions so you’d prepare for your exams, I was not patient enough to realise that it was cool for you to decide to take some other guy to keep you company for the night. I had slowly seen it as an entitlement.
When it was buying you gifts and some of the things that made you happy, I was not patient enough to wait while you went through your happiness phase. My patience wore out once I didn’t see the happiness return.
When you wanted to feel like a gold fish, I was not patient enough to realise all the sensations my presence and body brought was not enough. I made magic with my body, I thought that was enough. I wasn’t patient to see you come out of that phase.
As I sit to think about love, I see a very striking anecdote with Music. The perception that alternative music is reserved for only the intellectuals, that you can’t listen to Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, and make a good meaning of their craft without the commensurate intellectual sagacity required is laughable but believed by many to be accurate.
The same people believe love is not for children, they believe you have to be emotionally ready and capable to handle the rigours of love. They make love seem like a man mountain, only to be surmounted by 10,000 hours of gym work through a lifetime. But even the strongest of them all, buckle at the slightest nudging that love brings.
Love is for everyone – young and old. The qualities that make love stand the test of time, have nothing to do with age. They have everything to do with the presence of mind. For I have found out that love, values the presence of mind given to it. When the mind is absent, love withdraws. Love demands absolute commitment and presence.
I have particularly noticed that whenever I feel like I have discovered a gem, I am always prepared to wait no matter how long. Waiting doesn’t seem like a burden anymore because love happened. It is also same for others who have been in love.
Love waits, not just for three months, not 24, not 48. Sometimes an eternity, other times infinity. They mean one and the same.