Birthday Post: I ran fast

 

It’s my birthday in a couple of days and I’m really grateful and surprised at the same time. The fact that I’m currently a thousand miles away from home and tucked in a hotel on official assignment means I may not throw the party I intend to throw on that day, but you can bet I’d find a way to celebrate. I’m so excited about my birthday that you would think I won a lottery, but no, I won something bigger, I won at Life. I won guys, I won. I won at happiness, I won at love, I won, and that’s all the accolade I need, the fact that deep down on my insides, devoid of materialistic attachments, I am at my best – happy and free.

I took time to look through my life, at some point, I thought it was luck. I had to run through the major events in my life and how I’ve become the man that I am now. I’ve always been different, I look back at my upbringing and I marvel at some of the maverick things I used to do then. It’s not rocket science that those very things have shaped me into this proud man that I have become.

How did I become such a strong character, like, everything around me suggests that I shouldn’t be this independent tough lad who’s taking the world one stage at a time, but here I am, taking the world, one step at a time. This birthday is not a day for sober reflection, I’m done with that, there is nothing to be sober about.

I think my life is on track and it’s something I remain grateful to God for, like I’ve got my shit together, life is going at a good pace for me, I’m in that position where I honestly and strongly believe that with a little effort, I can be all that I ever want to be, no holds barred.

It’s been a year of freedom, boy, I did try so many things for the first time this year. I tried so many things and I’m proud I tried them, crossed so many things off my checklist of “firsts”. Every year, I keep surprising myself, I keep learning more, getting more and typically living more.

Every year has something it brings with it for me, this year has brought everything and I am most grateful to God. The Lord that keeps on giving even when I am least deserving. One of the things that gives me great joy is knowing I am in Christ.

Last year, I made the decision to not kill myself over the “small” things and just move with the flow, it looks like that decision has paid off as I am saner than I have ever been, the whole world could literally be falling like a pack of cards behind me and I am not bothered. That’s the kind of life I live now.

When I think of regrets, I think back to my early teenage years, I look at my receding hairline now and I get nostalgic about those early years when I spent too much energy trying to make my hair look like Nelly’s, all that time spent carving my hairline, buying Sporting Waves and doing all sorts didn’t seem to pay off, the texture of my hair is still as stubborn as ever, but that’s about all the regret I have.

Most of the things I wanted going into this year, I got. The only regret is that I got them all by myself, as I grow older, the realization sets in that I am ready to become a father, how do I know this? No one gives me anything for free anymore, I literally pay for everything in my life right now, thankfully God keeps providing. It’s a tough life, this paid life, at least somethings should come freely, don’t you think so too? I’m not complaining though, so long as God keeps protecting me.

I have gotten bolder, the few fears I had before I got into this year have all been banished, I took the bull by the horn, I went through the valleys, specifically looking for the Valley of the Shadow of Death; usually the steepest, and God still pulled me through triumphant, we’re good like that!

I’m heading into this new year feeling alright, I still dance around naked in my house, I still laugh at funny videos on Instagram, I do anything it is that keeps me happy, I still love food. Most importantly, I’m heading into this new year with the right people, the right support system and the right environment.

If I don’t stop myself, I could keep typing on and on. My guess is that you can feel my energy, enthusiasm and vigour through these words, that’s how happy I am. No more, no less. Happiness, not dependent on anybody, happiness totally owned and controlled by me. Forget all those things about peers and mates, no one is my mate, I learnt that a long time ago and it has helped me greatly, growing at my own pace, walking in my own lane, nothing can possibly go wrong with that yeah? Twenty-three sure can’t wait to have me. Damn, I’m really getting old. Finally changed the wineskin.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch

August 30…my Birth Date

It’s my birthday today (August 30) and as usual with other birthdays, I start off sad. I look back and there’s always the “more I could have done” and the “little I did”. It’s slowly becoming a vicious cycle. When will I start doing “more” and ditching “less”. Chill, I’m disappointed with myself, it’s very difficult to assess the level of growth I have undergone, I have certainly grown, I’ve become more of a man, I could pinpoint a few things but that isn’t all I’m about. Life has no space for the “few” men. Can I do more? Can I make more? Can I move more? Can I grow more? Call it the “MORE REVOLUTION”, I’m made of more, I can do more, I’ve gotta start doing more.
Can I grab the big chances? Can I sway at the top? I’m trying to vividly remember the events that surrounded my last birthday, are the problems still persisting? Or I’d rather start with what has changed so far.
I won’t pretend seeing my picture as people’s display picture doesn’t mean anything, they do mean something truly but I’m not fazed by them. For me, I’ve gotten the best gift I want…assurances of love and care from the people (or person) that are (is) in my life right now.
So Luke 2:52, a scripture I’ve known for over 7 years now has featured prominently today. I will grow in wisdom, in stature and in favour with God and with Man. Right now, I’ll be revealing deep things about me in the ensuing paragraphs.
Let’s look at growing in wisdom. Truth is, everyone that knows me or have come in contact with me all have one common thing to say; they always attest to my exceptional brainpower, everyone keep saying I’m brilliant, I’m smart, intelligent and all that. That could be because I know way too much for a 20 year old. Right from when I was a kid, I’ve always known far above what I should know, when I talk, it’s so evident in my speeches that I’m not your average guy. I hate being average, I hate been normal, I hate blending with the crowd, but you know the truth? I’ve always asked myself if all these things I know are the true definition of wisdom. I know I know too much but it doesn’t feel like it at all. I see myself as some guy who fortune doesn’t smile on, a lad who has had to work too hard for even the littlest of things. I see those things others call exceptional knowledge as normal things, so here’s what I’m gonna do differently this time around…I’m going to know more. I will keep seeking after knowledge till I’m weary and yet I won’t stop until I discover something unprecedented and ground-breaking, then can I rest on my oars and bask in the euphoria of knowledge.
Let’s take a look at growing in stature. If I’ve got one “selling point”, it’s got to be my height. I’m way too tall, I’ve always been lazy about having a prolonged gym session to bulk up my muscles and body mass, maybe this is the time I finally get up and do some real exercise. Adding a little body mass with the abs and all that wouldn’t be harmful, will it?
In favour with God. Without God I’m really nothing. He’s my all. So there’s gotta be a deepened walk with Him, there’s gotta be more revelations, prolonged encounters, productivity, and all there is. My heart gonna keep longing, keep chasing after you.
Ahem! This is where work needs to be done, favour with men. How do you get favour from men without compromising what you believe in, especially when what you believe in isn’t what the general public believes in? That’s going to be the major question I’d look to answer at this stage of my life. How to love people and just love them without being logical about it, how to be just me and ensure that that me is me enough for everybody and every situation.
A big shoutout to my mom…that little kid they told you to kill back then is 20 now. If you had killed me then, no one would have questioned you but you persisted…I love you.

That should be that about that.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch
Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan