Unleashed – A Birthday Panegyric

I haven’t had the chance to reflect on my birthday in depth. It’s been a whirlwind period for me filled with only highs and no lows and I couldn’t be happier. This is the first time in three years that I’d be away from anything work related for this long. Staying away from work, and not having to worry about something or someone that needs to be saved or need my help has allowed me time to think about myself and the evolution I have undergone. I couldn’t stay this long without writing so I’ve written this panegyric of myself in one take. Of course, like all other panegyrics, it could appear like I’m being too full of myself, depending on the lens you read this from, and then maybe appear like I’m being too hard on myself. But it doesn’t matter, enjoy this one take piece, forgive the errors as I’m still on vacation and not functioning at optimal capacity also seeing as I’ll definitely follow this up with a part two when I’m back in my stride.

Few months ago, I wrote an an article about how people shouldn’t cry for me when I die because I may not necessarily come across as being nice, so many people reached out to me to counter that statement. They kept reiterating the things I’d done for them and how I was literally the nicest person out there, and while it felt nice to hear all these things, they just don’t get it because that’s not how I’d define niceness. The things I define as niceness is what the world frowns on sometimes, like getting into random DMs and offering to have lunch and coffee with a total stranger because somehow I know that’s the little break they need from their life (did I hear you scream “how will you, a stranger, know what they need best”?). Or is it the people who always tell me they envy my life, how unbothered and unfazed I am and how I’m always happy (this is true) without stress (this is not).

I live a very honest life, I mean if this were during the heydays of online dating where you had to pretend to be composed during the first date with your online match, I’d probably fail all the time because I wouldn’t wait until the second date to crack my chicken bone in your presence, nor would I wait for the third date before I ask the waiter if I could have some more sweet and sour sauce. I’d do all those things on the first date because by the 17th date, I’d still be doing them unabashed and unashamed. This way, I’m under no pressure at all to pretend to be who I’m not to impress you by changing who I am. When people ask me what my secret to always being happy is, this really is it! I always tell them this is it — my originality no matter how awkward it is, I always own what’s mine unashamed! It looks so banal that it is almost unbelievable, but I wish I had a deeper answer.

By focusing on my present and living my life to the fullest, I’m leaving no stones unturned for the future. Sometimes, this comes out a bit too much for people, I’m always two seconds ahead (which may seem impatient and forward), a mitochondrion always looking for the next available person beside me to transfer that happiness to. Like that one time when I was on vacation on New Year, and I was wishing random strangers on the street a happy new year, or the other time I walked into a lounge and just started introducing myself to everyone I saw there. So much energy, so much joy, so much magnanimity that I’m always looking for who to share it with and it gets even difficult because my career as a Strategy Consultant also puts me in this same mode seeing as I’m always advising or putting together some strategy for others (hence no distinction between my life and work). One of the things I plan to do is to try so hard to create this distinction because sometimes humans don’t need help, they just want to be sinking and that is totally fine. I’m still trying to come to terms with this reality, because then you stop overthinking and stop trying to offer help “which may seem intrusive especially when not asked for”. Speaking of things people potentially intrusive; my excitement and energy! I’m always in my constant cloud nine state that I wonder how people cope with me. I’m sure they find that intrusive most times but don’t want to tell me because then again, they know the world needs more happiness than nought.

I also plan to take a full one year off work soon and just learn to live without trying to help save the world or help the next door neighbour, and believe that the world will be fine without me. Oh! I am also not perfect, I do think I have lots of flaws especially around controlling my energy and excitement levels. The battle I always have with this is that dichotomy between honesty and control. Do I just be fully honest about who I am unleashing all my elements or do I control the release? The battle being that sometimes, I tell myself that controlling them would be dishonest as it doesn’t show the true extent of my pizzazz. While I keep pondering over that, I know that whatever flaws I may have, will eventually sort itself out because if I remain honest about them and always listen to feedback, the help/improvement I need will eventually come.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

The Fight For My Life

When Fabrice Muamba, a footballer, slumped in the middle of the pitch during a football match, his Bolton teammates feared the worst. They had seen medics attend to him on the football pitch. Many people believed Muamba wasn’t going to make it after his heart attack, even the medics present talked about how difficult his condition was, they said he had to fight for his life. Muamba lived because he fought so hard not to give up – even when his heart had given up on him.

When medics say people “fought” for their lives, they mean it literally. People who fight must find the strength to breath over and over again; they have to suck it in for as long as they can and hold on to life. As I turn another year on earth, it is fitting that I look back at my life and ask if I have fought dearly for the very breath I exhale today, fitting to look at the fights or non-events that had occurred because of my aversion to fighting. Have I fought for my life?

Looking back at situations that would have required me fighting dearly for my life, the situations that kept me on the edge between mortality and beyond, what was my instinctive reaction? When faced with daunting challenges that require resilience and grit, do I throw in the towel or do I keep fighting – like Fabrice did in the face of death?

One time I was air-bound and was suffering from Ear Barotrauma, it was so severe and intense that a full bottle of water and multiple sweets and swallowing later couldn’t stop it. I’d tried the Vulvasa Maneuver yet it wouldn’t stop. At some point, I stopped hearing totally and the flight attendants were worried. When it became so intense, I stopped trying to fightback. I basically sat back on my seat and imagined what the worst would be? Going deaf? People have done that and lived. I will survive. What about dying? Oh well, if now is the time, so be it. I literally gave up fighting. I stopped trying to do anything to solve my problem. I just let fate decide (more on this later) what my end would be. By thinking about the worst-case scenario, I was preparing myself for the end so whatever it was wasn’t going to take me by storm.

I strongly detest anything that threatens the balance of my inner peace. I’d rather give in than let whatever it is distort my equilibrium. I have lost count of the human relationships, opportunities and possessions I’ve lost because I wasn’t willing to fight, because once that relationship threatened to distort my inner peace, my instinctive reaction was to run. If I was ready to give up my own life to preserve my inner peace, nothing else was worth it. I always let fate decide what the outcome of my dealings would be. I always try not to influence these outcomes by anything peculiar to me.

It is against this backdrop that I remain ever grateful to the powers that be, albeit unforeseen, who have tried so hard despite my negligence to preserve my Being. I look back at my disposition about life and it’s not so hard to see where it all began.

Tales abound of how as a fetus I gave problems all through pregnancy. Looking back, it sure feels like something did not want me on this earth. Perhaps I was the last Airbender or the Seeker. Whatever it was, something must have wanted me not to make an entrance and in keeping with my style, I obliged. I made no efforts to come out of the womb when it was time, I had stayed in there for eleven months going to twelve months and yet no sign of movement. It looked like I was happy to just stay in there rather than distort my inner equilibrium. Even when I came out, it was not out of my own volition, I was forced out and was heading to the floor until a nurse clad in white held me with her gown. As usual, an “Angel” had appeared to save the day.

The events surrounding my birth has been mirrored in all the major events that have surrounded me. As I approach a new year, my most successful year yet, it’s so clear that no matter what I do – and I say this strongly, because the life I live now, I do not deserve – the powers that be appear to always back me, it appears they have me destined towards the very best things in life, even I can’t stop that journey.

Muamba is alive because he fought, according to the medics at least (Muamba himself alludes his survival to God). I am alive despite having given up my fights, because the powers that be keep fighting for me unconditionally.

Happy Birthday Ihemrochi, as you live another gracefully given year, may the powers that be keep fighting for you even against your own will.

Stay True!

 

Birthday Post: I ran fast

 

It’s my birthday in a couple of days and I’m really grateful and surprised at the same time. The fact that I’m currently a thousand miles away from home and tucked in a hotel on official assignment means I may not throw the party I intend to throw on that day, but you can bet I’d find a way to celebrate. I’m so excited about my birthday that you would think I won a lottery, but no, I won something bigger, I won at Life. I won guys, I won. I won at happiness, I won at love, I won, and that’s all the accolade I need, the fact that deep down on my insides, devoid of materialistic attachments, I am at my best – happy and free.

I took time to look through my life, at some point, I thought it was luck. I had to run through the major events in my life and how I’ve become the man that I am now. I’ve always been different, I look back at my upbringing and I marvel at some of the maverick things I used to do then. It’s not rocket science that those very things have shaped me into this proud man that I have become.

How did I become such a strong character, like, everything around me suggests that I shouldn’t be this independent tough lad who’s taking the world one stage at a time, but here I am, taking the world, one step at a time. This birthday is not a day for sober reflection, I’m done with that, there is nothing to be sober about.

I think my life is on track and it’s something I remain grateful to God for, like I’ve got my shit together, life is going at a good pace for me, I’m in that position where I honestly and strongly believe that with a little effort, I can be all that I ever want to be, no holds barred.

It’s been a year of freedom, boy, I did try so many things for the first time this year. I tried so many things and I’m proud I tried them, crossed so many things off my checklist of “firsts”. Every year, I keep surprising myself, I keep learning more, getting more and typically living more.

Every year has something it brings with it for me, this year has brought everything and I am most grateful to God. The Lord that keeps on giving even when I am least deserving. One of the things that gives me great joy is knowing I am in Christ.

Last year, I made the decision to not kill myself over the “small” things and just move with the flow, it looks like that decision has paid off as I am saner than I have ever been, the whole world could literally be falling like a pack of cards behind me and I am not bothered. That’s the kind of life I live now.

When I think of regrets, I think back to my early teenage years, I look at my receding hairline now and I get nostalgic about those early years when I spent too much energy trying to make my hair look like Nelly’s, all that time spent carving my hairline, buying Sporting Waves and doing all sorts didn’t seem to pay off, the texture of my hair is still as stubborn as ever, but that’s about all the regret I have.

Most of the things I wanted going into this year, I got. The only regret is that I got them all by myself, as I grow older, the realization sets in that I am ready to become a father, how do I know this? No one gives me anything for free anymore, I literally pay for everything in my life right now, thankfully God keeps providing. It’s a tough life, this paid life, at least somethings should come freely, don’t you think so too? I’m not complaining though, so long as God keeps protecting me.

I have gotten bolder, the few fears I had before I got into this year have all been banished, I took the bull by the horn, I went through the valleys, specifically looking for the Valley of the Shadow of Death; usually the steepest, and God still pulled me through triumphant, we’re good like that!

I’m heading into this new year feeling alright, I still dance around naked in my house, I still laugh at funny videos on Instagram, I do anything it is that keeps me happy, I still love food. Most importantly, I’m heading into this new year with the right people, the right support system and the right environment.

If I don’t stop myself, I could keep typing on and on. My guess is that you can feel my energy, enthusiasm and vigour through these words, that’s how happy I am. No more, no less. Happiness, not dependent on anybody, happiness totally owned and controlled by me. Forget all those things about peers and mates, no one is my mate, I learnt that a long time ago and it has helped me greatly, growing at my own pace, walking in my own lane, nothing can possibly go wrong with that yeah? Twenty-three sure can’t wait to have me. Damn, I’m really getting old. Finally changed the wineskin.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch

Birthday Post: New Wine; Old Wineskin.

A birthday post is a tradition as old as this blog.

Every year, I turn into a recluse in the weeks that precede August 30. All my life, this date has always fallen during the holiday period. School has never been in session. In high school, people would be splashed with water, beaten and thrown up in the air on their birthday, it always seemed fun. I felt unfortunate that my birthday always came during the holiday season, you know, back then, having water splashed over you was the deal.

So it meant I’d always have enough free time on my birthday to do stuff I wanted. It’s a sign of progress and growth that my birthday this year will have me seated on my desk at the office working. I’m done with the school life. Just look at me, a twenty-two year old working class who lives alone fully independent in a city over 500km away from the one where I spent most of my years.

This birthday is not special, it’s like all the other ones, but I have really grown as a person. I have become realer with my veracities and stronger against my fears. I took daunting decisions this year. I made the bold step to leave my comfort zone and move to another state without having any backup plan. It worked out well for me.

On the premise of this new level of independence, I will share some of my struggles with you as I come to terms with a new 365. Yes, I have some struggles; I’m no superman. If anything, independence helped me realize that.
I am not as nice as I’ve always thought myself to be. This is a very difficult admission to make because I’d always pride myself as being one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet. I mean, I don’t smoke, drink, sleep around, break hearts, use vulgar words, do evil, commit crime, and all the other ill stereotypes we’ve gotten accustomed to.

This year, I was a major recipient of unusual niceness from several people. The kind of favours I got this year from people made me realize how far away I was from reality. So many of the things people did for me this year, I wouldn’t have done the same if the roles were reversed, and I’d have valid reasons. On further probing, I’d have probably helped them too but not without dithering and considerations.

I am not nice, and I am pained. Following due process doesn’t always translate to being nice. Being a Christian boy isn’t all you need to be nice, there are elements of human interactions where I’ve been found wanting, for all my ramble about working hard, I still don’t give my all when it comes to work. I don’t even know how to sap myself completely. I am not nice.

It makes me question all those who have been nice to me. Why spend all that effort on someone who doesn’t deserve it? Well, I got my answer; when you’re being nice, you don’t worry about the qualification of the receiver at all. I will spend more time on this moving forward.

I was celibate all through the year. I have never been under as much pressure as I was this year to have sex. I still don’t understand why I was born in this generation – a generation that flagrantly seeks to do the exact opposite of the law. Letting people know you’re celibate doesn’t actually keep them away from you, it brings them closer, which is odd. But I get the reasoning, humans want you to go down with them.

Very few people want you to succeed even if they don’t. The human nature is malicious by default, so don’t blame them. Which is why you must learn to appreciate those who genuinely care about you. I stayed away from every form of negativity this year, I didn’t even have to think about it before getting an earpiece. When there was no one to
encourage me, I plugged in my earpiece and found encouragement in songs and words.

I have become a stronger character, without fear or timidity. The secret? Positive words. You need to always stay encouraged. I haven’t done badly for myself. There’s still more to be done of course.

Is this the life I dream of at twenty-two? I can’t remember. But I know I’m in my perfect place. God has been gracious, I have a job I honestly like doing and I have the right people in my life. Every single thing that’s happening with me right now was orchestrated by God which gives me huge confidence. It also explains why I approach important matters with dull complacency.

I can’t honestly be killing myself over the details of my life when it’s been so evident that God has been working out things for my good. I know what’s ahead of me is better than my wildest imaginations which is why I’ve stopped drawing up plans and goals, because for every single time I did that this year, God showed up with a much better plan midway. So instead, step by step, little by little, I will keep growing just the way God wants me to.

I’m super excited as I grow older!

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

The Throwback Birthday

I may not have access to the internet by the time it’s 12am, August 30, 2015. Which is why I’m posting this now. Things like this make me thank God for Mark Zuckerberg’s internet.org which aims to stream down internet from space to underdeveloped countries in Africa and other continents. When you see the giant stride Mark is making, it makes you wonder about your own life. That young man is already a billionaire, yet rather than rest on his laurels and watch the income flow, he’s still out there trying to make a difference in other ways that he can. It really tells you that it’s not always about the money, at some point the money makes less sense and you begin to look at the list of lives you’ve impacted on rather than Forbes’ list. That is surely a lesson to be learnt.

If you go through the archives of this blog, you’d notice a regular occurrence, since 2011 when this blog went live till now, there’s always been a birthday post whenever it’s my birthday. A closer look at all these posts will show a similar theme, the ever increasing need to get better. But this year is going to be different, rather than mumble and muse about what I should do and what I shouldn’t do, I have decided to rather look back with a grateful heart of thanksgiving to God for all he has done for me.

I have recounted my childhood so many times on this blog, I’m not prepared to go through the motions and rigours again but there really is plenty to be thankful for. But before we continue, I must confess that I truly feel like a winner; I’ve finally created a Gmail account after almost two years of “network error” messages, and having to deal with the rubbish Yahoo! spills sometimes. Although I must confess, Yahoo! has definitely become better, is this due to Marissa Mayer? I don’t know.

For one, this is the first birthday post I will be posting as a graduate. I have just finished my final exam from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. And you can’t fault me when it comes to prestigious schools, I’ve been opportune to go through some of the best; my high school was the prestigious Federal Government College Enugu, of course as is the case with prestige, we have produced many governors, senators, and men of substance. I started out my primary education at Citizens. If you followed the trends of the ‘90s well enough in Ikorodu, Lagos, you’ll agree with me that Citizens was the bomb. So I’ve been through the very best at all tiers. A round of applause, if that comes with any prize. Yeah it does, the thing with prestige is that it attracts prestige too, so there’s the chance of meeting up with great minds (like people have done with me; I’m a great mind!)

I had to retype the last two sentences; this is due to the absurd weak nature of my laptop battery. It went off immediately electrical power was gone. The fact that I could remember almost verbatim what I had written is also a stroke of genius. I deserve some credit for that. The auto-save function of Microsoft Word 2010 is abysmal, if it were Word 2013; it would have recovered everything I had typed. So which is the better form of genius? The ability to remember (as I have done) or the ability to ensure you need not remember (as Bill Gates & co. have done with Office 15’s auto-save feature)? Think about your answer carefully, therein lies the recipe for your success and I mean it.

Since I’ve delved into technology, let’s flow. The last time I wrote a birthday post (exactly a year ago), I had a fully functional 750GB HP 2000 laptop, a Blackberry smartphone, lots of money, and all the other good stuff. Just 12 months later, I have no hard disk, no laptop (just the empty casing to stare at me), no phone (not even an un-smart one), barely no money and almost no good stuff. I’ve lost every digital file. I then begin to wonder, has progress been made at all?
Back then, I lived virtually my whole life on the internet, how have I been able to cope without first hand access to the internet? A stroke of genius! It must be.

Looking back, that experience certainly made me better off. It turned me into a man-mountain. It gave me lots of time to do me-stuffs, ample opportunities to relax and think straight.
I finished reading all Malcolm Gladwell’s books with my favourite being David and Goliath (which influenced one of my previous posts; “Underdogs or just Dogs”). I must confess that most of my paradigm during this past one year was shaped by the philosophy portrayed by Malcolm in his books, and I don’t regret it one bit.

I’m here sitting on my scattered bed, with my diary on one corner, my NKJV Bible on another end with my notepad besides it. At the opposite end is my little detachable dell stereo speaker and a reading lamp. I just took another look at my bed and I’m wondering why my notepad is closer to my bible than it is to my diary. And I’ve just picked up a lesson from there, what I write, what should shape my thinking is what God’s word says and not what I think (which is what I write in my diary).
So it’s been one year of mainly no internet, no phone, no laptop, none of those things that supposedly makes life tick and yet my life ticked. I’ve found happiness despite having no temple run to keep my mind engaged, I’ve not suffered depression despite not having a laptop to watch movies with, and my dexterity with the keyboard is still high grade despite not having to frequently type as I would have wanted.

But it has also been one year of God’s goodness. God has just been so good! Saved me from reckless situations, shown me mercy and just been too good to me. This one year without internet and some of the supposed basic necessities of life has only made me seen that the one basic necessity is just the Presence of God working out all that stuff in your life.
I’m thankful for those God has brought my way. I’m surrounded by wonderful people, people that are ready to take all the shit I constantly throw at them and still love me nonetheless. For all those in my life, thank you for hanging around despite my weird manoeuvres. I really do love you all.

We look forward to the next 365 days with renewed vigour and hope that internet.org will be fully functioning in Nigeria so that yours truly can also enjoy this good act of philanthropy.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.
@Mr_GudMan

August 30…my Birth Date

It’s my birthday today (August 30) and as usual with other birthdays, I start off sad. I look back and there’s always the “more I could have done” and the “little I did”. It’s slowly becoming a vicious cycle. When will I start doing “more” and ditching “less”. Chill, I’m disappointed with myself, it’s very difficult to assess the level of growth I have undergone, I have certainly grown, I’ve become more of a man, I could pinpoint a few things but that isn’t all I’m about. Life has no space for the “few” men. Can I do more? Can I make more? Can I move more? Can I grow more? Call it the “MORE REVOLUTION”, I’m made of more, I can do more, I’ve gotta start doing more.
Can I grab the big chances? Can I sway at the top? I’m trying to vividly remember the events that surrounded my last birthday, are the problems still persisting? Or I’d rather start with what has changed so far.
I won’t pretend seeing my picture as people’s display picture doesn’t mean anything, they do mean something truly but I’m not fazed by them. For me, I’ve gotten the best gift I want…assurances of love and care from the people (or person) that are (is) in my life right now.
So Luke 2:52, a scripture I’ve known for over 7 years now has featured prominently today. I will grow in wisdom, in stature and in favour with God and with Man. Right now, I’ll be revealing deep things about me in the ensuing paragraphs.
Let’s look at growing in wisdom. Truth is, everyone that knows me or have come in contact with me all have one common thing to say; they always attest to my exceptional brainpower, everyone keep saying I’m brilliant, I’m smart, intelligent and all that. That could be because I know way too much for a 20 year old. Right from when I was a kid, I’ve always known far above what I should know, when I talk, it’s so evident in my speeches that I’m not your average guy. I hate being average, I hate been normal, I hate blending with the crowd, but you know the truth? I’ve always asked myself if all these things I know are the true definition of wisdom. I know I know too much but it doesn’t feel like it at all. I see myself as some guy who fortune doesn’t smile on, a lad who has had to work too hard for even the littlest of things. I see those things others call exceptional knowledge as normal things, so here’s what I’m gonna do differently this time around…I’m going to know more. I will keep seeking after knowledge till I’m weary and yet I won’t stop until I discover something unprecedented and ground-breaking, then can I rest on my oars and bask in the euphoria of knowledge.
Let’s take a look at growing in stature. If I’ve got one “selling point”, it’s got to be my height. I’m way too tall, I’ve always been lazy about having a prolonged gym session to bulk up my muscles and body mass, maybe this is the time I finally get up and do some real exercise. Adding a little body mass with the abs and all that wouldn’t be harmful, will it?
In favour with God. Without God I’m really nothing. He’s my all. So there’s gotta be a deepened walk with Him, there’s gotta be more revelations, prolonged encounters, productivity, and all there is. My heart gonna keep longing, keep chasing after you.
Ahem! This is where work needs to be done, favour with men. How do you get favour from men without compromising what you believe in, especially when what you believe in isn’t what the general public believes in? That’s going to be the major question I’d look to answer at this stage of my life. How to love people and just love them without being logical about it, how to be just me and ensure that that me is me enough for everybody and every situation.
A big shoutout to my mom…that little kid they told you to kill back then is 20 now. If you had killed me then, no one would have questioned you but you persisted…I love you.

That should be that about that.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch
Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan

New Year or Another day?

Really, the atmosphere is obviously filled with jollification and while I’m still busy trying to decipher how a light weight mosquito can pierce my thick skin with its very very light proboscis, others are obviously not that concerned with minute things as such. People are basking in the euphoria of the yuletide and making plans – whether right or wrong. We all make a fuss about New Year and resolutions that we miss the point. Note that your brain doesn’t change its pattern of operation because you’ve entered some new year, the earth doesn’t even turn upside down. I hope I didn’t shock you by saying what you call “new year” is just like any other day. Resolutions ain’t going to change your life. Keep doing the same thing over and over again and you’d get the same result over again too. So don’t get lost on the euphoria; stand out and be maverick. Meanwhile; I’m not saying you should plan or do all that; far from it. Actually you should plan, to achieve success you MUST plan too but here’s the thing; your life isn’t structured according to the calendar year but according to your birth year. You don’t say “I bought my first car in 1987”, no! You simply say “I bought my first car when I was 25”. That’s because your life is structured around your birth. So all those “resolutions and plans” you make on the first day of a new year should actually be made on your birthday because that is what defines you. You new year starts once you enter a new age and not when you enter a new calendar year…note the difference. So don’t go around lost in the rigmaroles and razzmatazz of the new calendar year because the truth is; it doesn’t change anything about the structure of your life.
Make all those plans on your birthday instead…that’s where it matters the most. MR.

You can also follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan.

Stay True!

Fortunate Nineteen

This post is dedicated to someone I’ve known all my life. Her birthday is on the 27th of September and how fitting I felt it would be to dedicate my first ever birthday blog (which isn’t about me) to her!
Okay, let’s start from the early years or as my latin friends would say; ab initio!

My family and hers have always been very close, my dad and her dad used to do things together; her mom and mine used to roll together, in fact; her dad bears a striking resemblance to my dad – they are both fair and fleshy – that I once used to refer to her dad as mine subconciously. The earliest memory I can ever recall of our families was in the late 90s (1998 or so) when my family came all the way down from Ikorodu to their house in Ikeja…my diminishing mental picture depicts us all having breakfast on the dining table (I may still have to verify this though). Then the routine Christmas visits every year to the village. I think she was referred to as “my wife” when we were kids as we used to play together very well then, after I left Lagos we didn’t see again and I remember looking forward to every Christmas period with excitement because I knew I was going to see her (and her siblings too!). I’d always ride my granny’s bicycle to their house in the villa; I’d eat; play & play more with them all. This was the routine for several years. I remember one occassion where we’d always argue over who was taller (I’m 28 days older than her 😉 ), I also remember writing some stuffs on the wall and telling to figure out what I had written, she couldn’t; it turned out what I wrote was a “I love you” (childish brain), of course you wouldn’t blame me, I was still an infant; forced to watch Nollywood movies in the village so it was only natural to try acting out one of the love scenes I had watched the previous night. That was an aside though; it didn’t happen again (not like there was another chance) but those were all part of the childish stage. Somehow, they stopped coming home for Christmas & with that contact was lost. One fateful day (after like 4yrs), I received a call, guess who the caller was? Her!!! She said she got my number from Facebook (thank God for that thing!) so we resumed contact again, I think we used to talk virtually everyday during one stage; I still remember the kinda sound she made the one day we talked on phone and I told her I went to visit a friend who was female and she chuckled at the idea I visited a girl and stayed the whole day in her house. Of course, you can trust my childish brain, I started raising my hopes that the “my wife” they called her back then could be realised. Now you must understand the kinda person I was -reserved, good and naive – so you’d understand why I almost gave up my “goodness” because I was reunited with someone who had known me from infancy (relocating to Enugu brought me around people who knew nothing about my history). The fallout of that nasty “my wife” thought led to something I’d later regret sha. If I were to list the bad things I’ve ever done in my life before; it’d rank amongst the top 5. I attended a high profile school (unusual for the nerd I was then) a Federal Govt. College and some rich kids (I wasn’t poor though) were serenading everywhere so you must understand some bad influences came from there…so here’s the bad thing I did. Back then, I told her I was in love with her; as a novice I didn’t even do this via the phone or FB inbox…haha, I did it via commenting on a status she had written so the whole world saw it. You know, the funny part was I told her “a fire was kindled in my heart for her”. Haha, you go fear teenage pick up lines na. Of course, being the responsible girl that she was, she got mad but she didn’t put me off, she just laughed the whole thing off it was even her elder sister that took the case personal. An amateur that tried being bad, I guess I don’t really fit into the bad boy mode, LOL. I went into hiatus then because I was disappointed with myself, after the “fire which was kindled” (lol) was quenched. I couldn’t face her, that was even how we stopped talking on the phone & stopped talking (for a while). We resumed conversations later on sha but it was on a very platonic level, I mean after falling my hand like that, what did you expect? The funny part is that I’m pretty sure she doesn’t remember any of these things I’ve ranted about here but how can I ever forget them?
That was just that sha, we’ve all grown, I mean we were kids then but we’ve all grown, I’ve become a man & all that but I really want to talk about her…

I’m amazed at how she has grown into a beautiful woman! One with character, finesse & a magnificent aura.
She’s now outta the country & I can’t help but be thankful that particular incident didn’t soil our relationship.
I thank God for the woman she has become, I pray she makes the most of God’s Grace in the next 365 days.

I love you loadz (not that kinda “love”…lol)!
Cheers to a hearty new year!
Happy Birthday!