The Passion of Roch

I will be vulnerable in this post, hence its brevity. Please also forgive my wordplay of Mel Gibson’s movie as the title of this post. You see, I’m not really a big fan of Mel Gibson as a person, but it’s very hard to ignore the ingenuity and quality he puts through his work.

Passion is a word bandied around every now and then when someone tries to give a psyching speech or motivational talk. They talk about how important passion is and how applying passion to what you do can easily set you apart; they quickly go to the success stories and mention a few people who were “passionate” in their endeavours, if only we could see through the lens. If only…

You see, the thing about passion is that it can prove equally as dangerous as it can be useful once it’s misdirected. It’s the reverse for public opinion; public opinions are best when they are negative, because it brings the true best out of you.

When I was in school, I was a smart chap. In Junior Class, I always came out tops or amongst the best, with little effort. So, I grew up thinking I didn’t need do too much to come out tops in class – I paid attention to my position instead of my overall average. So, while 70% was enough to come out tops in Junior class, it was really poor because people in other Junior Classes were coming out tops with an average of over 90%. Well, I wasn’t bothered because I didn’t feel threatened.

When I got into Senior Class, we had a reshuffle, so I now had a different set of classmates; the struggle caught up with me. I didn’t put in extra effort because I had been used to coming out tops without working so hard, I struggled. When the first results came out, I had my lowest result ever; the same average that was enough for me in Junior Class set me back. It was really tough, by the time I got a hang of myself, it was almost late.

That was my first experience with being unequally yoked, being around people who didn’t challenge me. This is why I don’t have so many friends, people ask me from time to time, how I survive in an urban environment with very little friends, and the truth is, I am yet to see someone, anyone, who can match my passion in all things – both serious and trivial things. I apply passion to things I’m involved in, even if they don’t make sense.

Anyways, after a long while I got into College, and the same thing almost happened, except this time, it was not exactly academic but in other facets; I found myself around people that did not really challenge me, I didn’t have to do too much to remain a notch above anybody else, so I grew up over the years with the mindset that I didn’t need do so much to stay above everyone else, and it didn’t help either that some of the people I looked up to lacked content, so I had to resort to feeling good with their commendations and all.

By the time I changed environments, I struggled for a long while to come to terms with my new-found reality. The accolades I had become accustomed to for doing even the most mundane things were nowhere to be found. I doubted myself, I asked myself if I’ve been all that people said I was. Funny how a rough six months came really close to damaging over a decade’s worth of mental reputation and worth.

So, what had happened was that I had move on to a better environment, with more enlightened and knowledgeable people, and these guys didn’t see this “extraordinary” things I did (which won be accolades before) as a big deal. The first thing my instincts did was to recount my history and try to make them see that this was really special.

See, I’m a strong character, and one of the things you get with strong characters is that we can be very insistent, even against glaring odds. It also helped with my confidence too, because I have never been one to rely on public opinion for confidence, I’ve always felt not too many people like me out there. Hence, it helps me build a wall of confidence and parameters (not perimeter) controlled wholly by me.

But the one mistake I made was to rely on public opinion as it had to do with the output of my work, I stopped listening to my innate parameters to judge the quality of my output and it affected me gravely. I stopped putting in all the hard work and it slowly caught up with me. But here’s the thing, I am a special being. I’ve been all that since I was born, but here’s another thing, no one cares about what you’ve been, they want to see what you can deliver in the now – in the present.

Quit living in your past glory mentally, it’s one thing to say you are looking forward to new challenges but mentally you’re still stuck in the past. I started this post by talking about passion, but passion takes 100 percent, so you had better make sure you’ve been fixated on the right thing before applying all that passion.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Sweet Sixteen

Twenty Sixteen was my best year ever. When I crossed over to this year, I asked God to make it a memorable year for me and He sure did. There were so many memorable moments, so many “firsts”. When I see people complain about how bad 2016 was for them, I feel bad really, because I had a blast this year. I can’t share it all in one post, but I will share a few.

I got a new job this year, got a new house, made giant strides professionally and socially. Oh, I also got a live radio show gig. Bonkers! Above all, I met really nice people. God really used people to pull me through. There was never a time when my future looked blurry, God always had a plan waiting for me. One of the scriptures I always use to describe growth is Luke 2:52.

I grew in Wisdom, like when I go through some of the professional work I did this year, I’m amazed. A year ago I knew nothing about Financial Models and some really deep strategic stuff but look at me now. Wisdom comes from a deep-seated place in the Spirit. It is the Spirit in you that births original insights, concepts and ideas. I had so many “this is it” moment after many brainstorming sessions. It didn’t come from thin air, it came from a deep-seated pool within. I read about 10 books this year, which was quite below my numbers. I have an excuse for this but it’s not a valid excuse so I’d just keep it to myself.

I grew in stature, I grew taller but there’s yet more work to be done. I was too lazy and complacent this year to gym, I really hope to change that next year. But asides the eternal longing for broad shoulders and abs, it’s all good. Stature is only physical. There’s also the mental stature. You see this year, I became very staunch in my paradigms and actions, I was proud of my actions and stood by them, I was not easily swayed by the tides. That’s stature you know. It helped me evaluate my actions better and make changes where applicable.

I grew socially, I really met some cool people this year. One thing I learn this year was to carefully sift my audience, and throw out any form of negativity. I realized how powerful people and their words carry, so I decided to only stay around people whose words edify and grow me. I did throw a few people out, but I let in even amazing people. It’s just so amazing when you have conversations with people who are on the same pedestal with you. I also learnt to love people irrespective of their beliefs and actions. I learnt to see people from a neutral lens, it really helped me get close and learn a whole lot form different people.

I really met some awesome people, people were unusually kind to me even when I was undeserving. Like I was so shocked, I tried to reciprocate the kindness I got but it was increasingly difficult. God used my interactions with people this year to show me that He really does stuff on earth through people. I’m working on being a good friend, you know, the thing with being as carefree as I am is that nothing really bothers you or keeps you awake at night. So it means I lost pace with so many people, in twenty seventeen, I will try to really become a better friend and keep in touch.

I grew spiritually. There was some level of spiritual maturity I attained this year. This part is was laid before this year, you see, every path I trod this year was carefully orchestrated by God, this year was just me walking on His blueprint. I couldn’t have even made it without him. There were numerous times of course when I felt so lazy that we didn’t even spend time together, but the few intimate times we spent always made up. This year, I fell in love like romantically with the Holy Spirit. You have no idea. The Holy Spirit is such a darling, I could literally feel him making my pulse race. If you really want to have a good twenty seventeen, you have to ignite your relationship with God.

See, it’s not about God, it’s about the fact that there’s some level of connection that enables you operate outside the realm of the physical world of five senses. It’s not about a religion and set of laws, it’s a relationship. This year, we had so many dates, it was lit!

Learn to love your presence and self, I learnt to retreat from groups or conversations that didn’t add value to my life. I loved staying alone, dancing in front of my mirror and praising God. You don’t always need to go out, sometimes just stay home and sleep if you don’t have anything else to do. Learn to keep quiet. Mary kept God’s words to her heart. Can God tell you something and be confident it won’t end up as public gist? In the multitude of words, sin abounds. Sometimes delete your Twitter and Instagram, stay off Social Media for some time and get your act together. Don’t be locked into this fast paced environment that you end up losing touch of the very thing that counts – your humane soul.

So that was how my year went. You can bet twenty seventeen would better. Oh and yes! I did not fall in love with anybody, I remained single and celibate, and guess what? It felt so good that I think I would continue the trend in the new year too. Don’t let society trick you into thinking you must be in a relationship to become somebody (more on this later in the new year).

From my heart to all of you who read all the things I post on this blog, thank you for staying with me through my intellectual sinusoid, I really do love you all. Let’s do this again (and more) in the coming year.

To read about my 2015 review click here, for 2014, click here

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.