I used to Love a Girl

What is not Love?

I used to like a girl, like really really love her. And this isn’t fiction. This is a true story, my story.

I loved this girl so much, we were so in to ourselves. We spent almost every day on the phone, we would talk about several cool stuffs, share dreams, pray together and all that stuff. She lived very faraway from me but we didn’t even let the distance come between us.

Back then, I sincerely thought I was gon’ marry her, I even visualised what our kids would look like, we would have arguments about how many boys/girls we both wanted and struggle to pick their career choices. It felt so cool, Telemundo had nothing on us.

She was very beautiful. The first time I saw her, I was convinced she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. On the spot, I knew I was gon’ go after her, I did and got her via the Friend-zone first. Back then, I could swear it was love. It felt so good.

You know, as I write this, I feel nostalgic. I’m struggling to remember what happened, but we don’t talk anymore.
No, we didn’t fight, no quarrels, no misunderstanding, nothing of that sort. We just stopped talking. I just woke up one morning and decided, not to talk anymore.

In hindsight, I can say that was not love at all. Love doesn’t stop talking. It’s just so funny how looking back then, I can see how stupid we both were. We wasted precious time on nothing. You know, we went one whole year without communication at some point (I even think I blogged about her once here, search through my archives from 4 years ago, I’ve blogged about a ton of girls sha).

Then one day, I picked up the phone and called her. And we resumed like it was nothing, I mean, after one whole year without talking, we were back on our rhythm. That must have been some supernatural feat yeah? So it felt like it was destined to be.

But, don’t be deceived. That was not love. That can’t even pass as infatuation. That’s stupidity. You know, it’s funny because I can almost remember the motions my tender heart went through then, I look at her now and she’s thrice as beautiful as she was then, yet my pulses aren’t being set on fire. Did the love disappear? Haha. This happened several years ago.

In between the years that this happened, I still did not learn my lesson. Of course, someone else did come take her place, which brings me to another question. How strong does love need to be, before it becomes irreplaceable?

One of the reasons why I’m writing this post is because there’s someone in my life bugging me. Like she calls me every time, and because I’m trying to be polite, I haven’t told her off yet. So I was wondering, does this young girl think she’s in love? And maybe she feels love is reflected in how much airtime you burn calling the person, I laugh.

I want to tell her, I’ve done this thing before, and that it wasn’t love, but I don’t want to crush the young girl’s heart, I will let time teach her, just as maturity taught me.

Another reason why I’m writing this is because of Charlie Puth’s song “We don’t talk anymore” and Lauryn Hill’s “I Used to Love Him”. After listening to that song, I kept wondering, why would people who talk regularly stop talking at all? And then I remembered this story.

This story is the same reason I’ve stayed away from this thing you guys call love, Love is not child’s play. Love is nothing close to all that stuff you guys see on the internet. Love is personal. Love is matured. It’s not something anyone should jump into. Until I find out what love is, I’m so not jumping into that ship.

But what is not love?
– Love is not long hours on the phone
– Love is not the curves or fine face or abs
– Love is not the feeling
– Love is not the butterfly in your stomach
– Love is not “do-this-for-me-I’d-do-this-for-you”
– Love is not recharge card
– Love is not Display/Profile Picture
– Love is not romantic status messages
– Love is not MCM/WCW
– Love is not money
– Love is not swag
Yeah, eleven things love isn’t.

Oh! Did I forget to mention we were upcoming grown-ups then? We are all grown-ups now and we laugh about our stupidity back then, no strings attached, we’ve both moved on, no enmity created. We’re cool. But that was not love.

This is not a true story :p

Stay True!

Miracle Roch