My name is Miracle Roch. This is just an inch of my story. The story of the lad who didn’t have a childhood. The lack of unseriousness which generally characterizes infancy I have sorely lacked. I should have what people call a comfortable life now, I mean; I’m in a Federal University, will be graduating soon, I’m still young, I’m very tall, dark, handsome, I can speak very well, I’m eloquent, I’m brilliant, I know too much, I know the girls, I make people happy, I play football, I wear good clothes, I use a good phone, I have a laptop, I have good grades, I mean, what else qualifies a good life? I’m a Christian, I’ve got God.
I like writing about myself because my life as a whole is a degree. After the first paragraph, one could say my life is blissful eh? Many look at my life now and want to be like me…they see a perfect life but what they don’t know is that I’m not really better than that guy you see hawking things around motor parks, I’m not better than any of those Lagos area boys who loiter around, seems funny but that’s the truth. I didn’t plan for any of these, I can’t even say I’ve been fortunate enough sadly so I can’t even attribute it to fortune. I’m not better than anyone, that’s the sad truth. What I presumably have is a “working mind”. I have just been blessed with the right kind of mind – the one which continually longs for form, for completeness.
Yes, I may have had a mixed childhood, one where I was the prince and then quickly turned into the pawn. Maybe that’s why I will never rest until I find out if my value as it were came as a result of a lack of competitors(competition) or as a result of my true worth. It’s a question I still ask…am I really all that? Am I as good as people portray me to be? Parents tell their children to follow me but am I worth following? Everyone see me as some perfect article and I keep asking…Are they following me because there is no one else or because I’m really that good? Some fork and knife to ponder on.
I’m proud of my history, what have I not experienced? Why did life become more than just a fairy tale at the tender age of 4? I never watched cartoons as a kid maybe that helped me see life as something more serious than phantom aliens and magical wands. Most of the things other children had the chance of seeing, I didn’t see even with the same chance. How can my earliest memories of watching the TV be vivid images of NTA’s network news? That can’t be right, can it? How can the rare visits to the beach not even spring to mind? How can the swimming pool visits not feature prominently on my thoughts? Something’s gotta be wrong!
I remember going to a different area from where I was living and I went to a field around to watch some boys play football, somehow I ended up as a goalkeeper and at the end of the match, everyone was hailing me, I was new to the area so no one knew me, they saw me as one kinda whiz kid, I think I still have vivid images of me flinging myself to the far right and making one save that even Oliver Kahn would be proud of. It’s no surprise really that I have not forgotten that particular incident, it wasn’t the praise or anything but the fact that I really felt I deserved this one. Right from when I was a fetus, sycophants have always praised me, and because I struggled most often than not to really understand what I did, I was oblivious of it so you could imagine my joy that day.
As a kid, I already knew how to configure a phone, how to configure a television set, I was into many technological things, I was a guru, doing well in school; that was heaven. I basked in the euphoria of being a genius. At that age, I had begun to take responsibility for many of the things happening around me. The things I had to take care of and learn as a young man was too much that in hindsight I always ask myself in surprise how I could carry those thing on those tender shoulders of mine.
But like I said, this is just an inch of my childhood story…that of a young lad who refused to grow up and grappled with adulthood even when childhood was at his beck and call.
Will there be a follow up piece to this one? Let’s see how it goes.
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