Romantic Love

Ok, let’s talk about a little romance. A little kissing, a little touching, a little talking, a little this, a little that. Should we talk about someone that’s been introduced to these things lately and has been grappling with them? Someone who doesn’t know where to draw the line, doesn’t even know if there’s any line at all. Should we in our usual way, try to talk about this situation without giving hard and fast rules?
How about we talk about how far you should go when you’re in a relationship with someone you really love and who loves you back. The fact that you both love yourselves, should that be a criteria to go all the way?
If we continue this way, we may end up not talking about anything at all but that wouldn’t hinder this page from being full. I think we should talk about romance, we should talk about love from the perspective of a Christian. Why is there so much fuss generated whenever a Christian is involved in some lovey-dovey? Why are people quick to judge whenever a Christian goes out with another?
So romance they say is an addiction, they say you should fall in love first then romance naturally comes into play. They tell you to find a good Christian girl when it’s time to marry but they never tell you to find a good Christian girl when it’s time to fall in love. Your heart just follows the tide and most often than not, because you haven’t fallen in love with a “good Christian girl”, you find a reason to break up with whom you actually love and begin the search for a good Christian girl. Good luck with that search as you’d need it.
You know sometimes I feel God utmost desire is for us His children to become romantically involved with the opposite sex, for us to be in love with the opposite sex. That’s probably part of the reason why he had to create Eve for Adam. Eve wasn’t just a helper, Eve was someone Adam could channel some inborn drive towards, that’s why most of the love gestures should come from the male. It’s inborn. By channelling this inborn drive towards a woman, towards Eve, Adam begins to really discover what it is about God that has made Him go all through all he has just for us. But then I feel God looks down, he sees how blinded his children have been about the concept of love and shakes his head. Love is a beautiful thing, yes, I mean that kinda love that makes your heart skip a beat, that kind that makes you want to spend your last dime on her, that kind that makes you think about her all the time, which makes you want to be with her all the time. Brother, it’s not a sin, it’s not wrong either to feel these things long before marriage. By feeling like this and learning to channel these feelings rightly, you begin to know more of God. This is no fallacy, take note. These feelings aren’t worth wasting just 5 minutes of adrenalin rush into sex, these feelings are worth more precious time, these feelings are worth more, these feelings make you do things that will leave an impact, these feelings are magical, these feelings are inexplicable.
You love somebody and you’re really sure it’s love? Boy make that first move, let her know, there’s nothing wrong in telling her you don’t even know what to do next, there’s nothing wrong in telling her you were nervous about making your feelings known, there’s nothing wrong in telling her how she makes you feel. Nothing absolutely wrong. Let the feelings flow, let the romance begin and see how you react to it, see how you battle with your being, see how loves overtakes you, see how love turns you into a motivational speaker, see how it turns you into a better man, be prepared to also see it bring out the beast in you but then calmly controls that beast to unleash the angel inherent in you too. It could go sour if you don’t channel that romance into the right tunnel, it could go wrong if it wasn’t love at first but if it was love…love never goes wrong, love never does wrong, love never “nevers”.
Love someone from the opposite sex, you’ll feel good, you’ll discover new things, you’ll get to understand love better. Love is so powerful that it can make you do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do.
I’m not resting my case yet.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch
Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan

She didn’t break my heart; I did!

DISCLAIMER

This piece is wholly fictional. Just one I played out with myself as the villain. None of these happened, I just loved the concept of having one’s heart broken by one’s self and decided to turn it into a prose. You know most times we are really in love with someone and we waste time letting the person know how we feel about them, this story was constructed in a way that ensures it relates with everyone. Don’t waste time, love is a beautiful thing, when done the right way. Read and don’t enjoy.

 

***

Ok, I ran to my laptop almost immediately. My heart was about to tear into shreds. I hope by the time I would have finished writing this, I would have gotten myself together.

FLASH BACK

I’ve been in love with some girl for over two years now. The first time I saw her, I liked her and I walked up to her, collected her number without making my intentions known (because I really didn’t know what the said intentions were at that point). Somewhere along the line, we became platonic (zoned maybe) friends without any single thing (not even a pin) attached. Then she had to leave to another state because of school. I didn’t see her again…until she had to leave that school and come join my school (her father is a professor in my school so I guess it was logical to switch over). Then we crossed paths again, there was the momentary exchange of pleasantries, I think we saw one more time this time she was in the company of a friend then I saw her again one afternoon. I walked her home, we passed her house and we kept talking…it took a whole lot of nerves to keep my emotions in check. But thankfully, I did. She started recanting her experiences during her one year away, and she mentioned having a boyfriend (my emotions unchecked itself) then breaking up with him (emotions checked) and staying on her own. At that point, I really didn’t harbour any intentions of dating her (she was more than a calendar to me) so we just kept being friends, we kept seeing and kept talking and my conviction was strengthened. As the days passed by, I was convinced she was the one, as the weeks passed by my heart kept longing for her, it was becoming strong. I still didn’t want to date her but I hadn’t told her how I felt about her. She had given me a clue the other day about how she was happy I was in her life (albeit as a friend, call it the friendzone although she didn’t mention the “friend” part *insert sad face smiley*) but I hadn’t told her what I felt. The reason was because, one, I felt it could lead us into a relationship and I didn’t think I had the time a relationship would require, two, I wasn’t sure of what the effect of that would look like. So I decided to just keep being friends with her and see what the climax would look like. That was the plan until I came across a different school of thought that said it was wrong to like a girl and not let her know. So I set out to let her know how I felt, now take note, I’m a “ladies’ man” (not that Bradley Cooper kinda) just the normal man aligned to the ladies so I don’t have a problem talking to ladies. There’s no lady in this world that I can’t walk up to (now that’s a bold statement) so I was surprised to find out that I was grappling with nerves. Why was I so nervous at the thought that I was about to make my (honest) feelings known. Ok, I was able to finally sort out the nerves; no big deal.

PRESENT

I called her, the intent was just to have a pure conversation and I was shocked. First, she stuttered while she picked the call, like she was engrossed in something, secondly, I heard a guy’s voice in the background, how could this be? She just told me she was in her room, ain’t no way a guy gonna come in there! Just as the call was about to end, I think she got tickled and I heard the guy’s voice again. I ended the call, dejected, heartbroken and forlorn.

I had just experienced a heartbreak from someone who doesn’t even know she’s broken someone’s heart. Why did I waste time? What makes this so painful is that, she must have felt I wasn’t ready ad I didn’t respond to any of the signals she sent.

I had just experienced a heartbreak…one inflicted by me upon me and no other. Pitiable.

I just pray these things are only playing out in my head and not real, I’m seriously praying the guy’s voice came from a TV set, or that it was a girl having a thick voice. Because it would mean, she also lied to me and that would make me wipe away that angelic soul I had always seen behind her smile and then I would have to start all over again. I don’t want to.

Lord, I really love this girl and you know I do, you also know she would say yes, if I ask her out meaning you have opened the door. I’m not ready to lose her, not now, not in the near future. Heal my broken heart.

 

Stay True!

 

Miracle Roch.

Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan

What Did He Choose?

Ok, so there’s a young chap who has just met someone who is slowly beginning to look like she’s the “love of his life” and as you’d expect, the young chap is happy. So they decide to meet on a random day and as you’d expect, this young man is excited about this meeting. There’s probably something this pretty angel’s face does to him so he longs to behold it all the time if that were possible. He didn’t even think twice about it, he cancelled all his plans for that day, nothing was gonna be worth more than a time with the one who makes him feel some type of way. So he sets off, goes with a book he plans to read while waiting, as you’d expect, he was there way before time. An hour, no one shows up, the lover boy tries so hard to concentrate on his book, no way. So he decides to examine his life, who the hell is the girl that’s making me feel this way. What’s it about her that has won me completely over. He tries to find an answer, searches deep but finds nothing. Well, that was the answer he was looking for, love as it were isn’t explainable, and you can’t explain that of feeling, if he had gotten an answer then something must have gone wrong. Love is magical, not decipherable.
So, this young man has stayed for like 3 hours and he trying so hard not to lose his patience, ah! This girl doesn’t see me as priority o, this girl doesn’t love me as much, the devil slowly beginning to bring all those kinda thoughts into his heart, he remembers a girl who wanted to see him today who he had told he wasn’t gonna be available. He thinks about telling the girl to come around, something in him says no! He considers going to see another one of them, something in him again say no!! So what could the problem be, I’m just trying to make sure my day isn’t wasted, what’s wrong in seeing someone else, the young man desperately battles with his mind, no there was no leeway? So he decides to try something different. He sits down on a chair, sees how blessed he is to have such an angel in his life, how he was totally undeserving of this chance. But the young man isn’t used to being stood up, on the other hand, he stands lots of girls up. And here’s one making him look so inept. One making him look so clumsy. That was another confirmation he needed to confirm this was truly love.
So he was done, he was convinced she was the one. Now was time to show he was the man here, so he makes up his mind not to reply her message for the whole of that day, he wasn’t going to talk to her till the next day, he was going to tell her to her face; “I want to be priority baby, I love you, yes I do but don’t ever treat me that way again pls”, he was even going to say more. The young lad finally decides to get up and go back home after like over 4 hours, on his way home, he receives a message from this girl, and funny enough, all his resistance is broken. He did not even consider whether to reply or not, he replied immediately, so all that resolution to be a “hard man” all out the window?! You’d be so surprised, the young lad that was walking home dejected suddenly turned into a man beaming with smiles as he made his way home all because of a message from her. He gets home looking very happy and thankful, Lord! He couldn’t believe his luck. One of the reasons why he hadn’t been in a relationship for some time was because he didn’t want to love the wrong person and see how the good Lord has sent the PERFECT person his way! You have no idea how happy that young man is feeling right now after what looked to have been a bad day. I can’t even explain and write how he feels because I don’t even know but mere looking at him, I can sense he’s in cloud nine! This is just the beginning, how would it pan out? You bet the Lord’s hand is on it so…
You see how what would have looked like a textbook bad day, a day when he was stood up turned out to be one of the best days of his life, one where he confirmed his affection, one where he confirmed he was into the real deal. Maybe I and you can learn from this young man, did we go through something bad and just because we are feeling unhappy, we have allowed our emotions override our actions. Always see that silver lining in every cloud just like this young man, as for me; I will.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan

Cherished

Congrats to Emanuel Lee Lambert Jr…he was the inspiration behind this post!
I dedicate this post to all happily married fellas; this is how love should be! For married couples that may be having problems…

I don’t see nobody else…
I don’t want nobody else…
I don’t wanne be by myself…
You are Cherished…

I love you for who you are…
Even though I left some scars…
Let’s fly off to Mars…
You are cherished…

I know I hurt you…
I don’t deserve you…
I recall the day I approached you…
I was killing it…
I recall the passion…
I was mesmerized…

You inspired me to aspire…
I’m in my right mind…
I want you ro be my lifeline…
Through the pains…
I realize my gains…
I love you…
Our love will last forever…
Cherished!

I have found Love

What on earth will make her mad at me?
What haven’t I done to her?
Think about the cruelest thing save physical assault…
I’ve ignored, neglected, made her cry, made her look like a fool
But she still keeps loving…
Never losing her temper…
Always sacrificing…
Thought this kinda thing was only found in the movies
She has proven it to be real…
Real love could be real!

She surely has taken a clue from Jesus Christ…
If only everyone could love like that…
This is love born not out of good looks…
Not out of riches…
Not out of romantic words…
Not out of actions…
Because there have been long periods of inactivity…
But this is love born out of love…
Born out of an innermost expression of the heart…
…to love and let love

How bad I feel when I think of myself undeserving of this love…
But I take pride in my strengths..
And I have concluded that Mother Nature has shined her luck on me…
I am reaping where I did not entirely sow…

Imagine heights we would have reached if I haven’t been complacent…
I haven’t shown it baby!
But you far more valuable than Ruby!
I have been shabby…
But deep down my heart…
There’s a beat inclined towards one…
One special person who I will always love…
Even when I act crazy…my heart will always beat
For you it will beat…

I have found you!
My undeserving self has grabbed you!

And I take pride in saying…
Because I have found thee…
I have found love!

love

Me, Love & Us

It has taken me almost 10 days (since my 18th Birthday) to write down few of life’s journeys I have experienced on my way to becoming an officially recognised adult. I will have to start with the path I have taken in respect to the hugely unpopular word love.
I was born with what would probably be termed a silver coated spoon. I had been drawn into the fiasco of existence at a time when my existence had been so eagerly awaited.
I was drawn between two parents who both didn’t want to pamper me as an only child but also wanted to give me the best life could offer. Thing is; one parent was lazy while the other was extremely hardworking. Both were prepared to give me the best but only one was prepared to go the extra mile while laziness couldn’t allow the other.
And that was how the very first idea of love came into my subconscious based on the scenes I had witnessed with my both parents.
The gory experiences of my childhood afforded me no opportunity to allow frivolities creep into my activities, I always wanted results for my actions and I always placed a huge sense of responsibilities on myself.
I was always an example; every parent wanted their children to be like me. Intelligent, plumpy (mainly due to the turkey & 50cl Pepsi I regularly gulped), respectful; I attained all these attributes before I clocked age 4. As at age 5, I was already trying to recite the chapter 6 of Ephesians. My parents loved the way I turned out to be, of course! It is the joy of every parent to see their offspring behave well.
Everyone in my neighbourhood loved me. Even the hostile streets of Lagos paid homage to me!
My religious background had brought me close to God; my relationship with him has kept me closer to him.

****************
I have lived with the notion that despite the fact that I yearned for someone to emotionally get involved with; people were not to be trusted. Having a female friend was a sin; I erroneously presumed but I still yearned for It. I wanted someone that’d be the sister I never had! I yearned, even lusted sometimes but the Holy Spirit kept restraining me. My being in an enlightened school like Federal Government College Enugu gave me an opportunity to stand on my beliefs. I stood on Christ but not firmly. I was like a Sprite drink mixed with water – from afar It still looks pure. Thank God for his undying love; He kept me, saw me through all my struggles to know Him more.
God gave me my third experience with love. From him; I began to shape my mind into what an ideal love scene should be.
I came across some wonderful & unique set of people; my life’s story can never be complete without talking about them. God bless that young man whose persistence paid off when I finally followed him to FECA Enugu. They started a new chapter in my life; I had to wipe out a few things at first in order to flow with them. They added real value to my life; their patterns glided with those I had since given up hope on!
They introduced me to another kinda love that would entail AFFECTION . I had been too spiritual to even give a hoot about the next person’s emotions.

*****************

Then came social networks; an opportunity to interact with people my secluded life didn’t afford me the chance to. FECA had already thought me affection, FECA already taught me to listen to people’s needs first. And so I listened to people tell me their story online. It was easy for them to pour out their hearts to someone they couldn’t see. I listened to a wide range of people but one of them stood out. Her name was. Alpha (not real names), from my discussions, I had discovered that beneath the smiles that clouded people’s faces were packs of problems – problems looking for someone to hear them out – I developed an interest for Alpha not knowing she had since developed one for me. All I wanted was her well being; I was able to make her stop some of the nasty things she did, how? Even when I didn’t get to meet her in person. I did it by instilling trust. She would cry on the phone for long telling me about the gory things she had done that day; she felt so secured with me. We loved each other; and there was never a mention of sex or relationship. It was one of those kinda love a guy would develop towards his kid sister.
With Alpha, I learnt TRUST.

**************

I had barely been on BBM for one week when my “caring” attitude brought me to Beta (not real names). Ab initio, it was evident the kinda relationship she wanted; I already knew she was gonna be a distraction. She said I was always ready to pay attention and do the listening. I wasn’t ready for what she wanted; I delayed cutting it off because of her incessant cries of how she loved me. It was during this period that I discovered my own love language which was EXPRESSION. She didn’t express her “love” fully, I wasn’t impressed as she really didn’t get to me but she kept pushing on. My prolonged periods of silence didn’t even deter her. I learnt passion from her.
Beta taught me PASSION.

**************
I cried, Lord please forgive me. I will never do this again; many times I have wronged my master and he has always forgiven me. He has never judged me based on my wrongdoings. He says it’s because He loves me. Hmmm, this kinda love must be divine, you can imagine; He even gave me His own spirit to make sure I don’t fall again. All these He did because He loved me, all these He also did because he Loves me and He says He’ll love me till the end. The Holy Spirit has been an ever present in my life; he hasn’t been found missing even when I derail. I spend most of my time alone – with Him. He has epitomised love. Now I clearly understand what I saw many years ago – God is love. His Spirit is love. Jesus is love.

***************

All these experiences have turned me into the perfect love giver and have shaped my love life. I’m slowly becoming what God wants me to be all because the essential element – love – isn’t missing BUT there was a lacuna.

Thank you.