Love Waits

Love Waits

For all the things people say about Love, I think the most pressing, which is often neglected, is that love waits. Love, when you sight the gold spot, waits, and perseveres. I don’t see so much perseverance these days when it comes to the different expressions of love that have marked our generation.

Marriages fail these days because, among other things, love acts fast. Sibling rivalries reach new heights because love chooses to act fast.

I am a man, who has been in “love” at different stages of my life and with different people, and I can say that for the different expressions of love I had at different times, the ones that failed were the ones where I was not patient enough.

When my main love expression was keeping you company through the night while you rambled about your dreams, I was not patient enough to realise that on some nights, you just wanted to be on your own.

For another, when it was dragging you to night reading sessions so you’d prepare for your exams, I was not patient enough to realise that it was cool for you to decide to take some other guy to keep you company for the night. I had slowly seen it as an entitlement.

When it was buying you gifts and some of the things that made you happy, I was not patient enough to wait while you went through your happiness phase. My patience wore out once I didn’t see the happiness return.

When you wanted to feel like a gold fish, I was not patient enough to realise all the sensations my presence and body brought was not enough. I made magic with my body, I thought that was enough. I wasn’t patient to see you come out of that phase.

As I sit to think about love, I see a very striking anecdote with Music. The perception that alternative music is reserved for only the intellectuals, that you can’t listen to Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, and make a good meaning of their craft without the commensurate intellectual sagacity required is laughable but believed by many to be accurate.

The same people believe love is not for children, they believe you have to be emotionally ready and capable to handle the rigours of love. They make love seem like a man mountain, only to be surmounted by 10,000 hours of gym work through a lifetime. But even the strongest of them all, buckle at the slightest nudging that love brings.

Love is for everyone – young and old. The qualities that make love stand the test of time, have nothing to do with age. They have everything to do with the presence of mind. For I have found out that love, values the presence of mind given to it. When the mind is absent, love withdraws. Love demands absolute commitment and presence.

I have particularly noticed that whenever I feel like I have discovered a gem, I am always prepared to wait no matter how long. Waiting doesn’t seem like a burden anymore because love happened. It is also same for others who have been in love.

Love waits, not just for three months, not 24, not 48. Sometimes an eternity, other times infinity. They mean one and the same.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

Are You Intentional?

 

When I buzzed Konko during an odd hour in the day, she must have been shocked. However, while Konko remains a sweetheart, she still has a terrible phone habit, she can frustrate you at odd times when you need her to respond. I thought putting her “read receipt” back on was going to solve this dilemma, apparently it has only gotten worse. I fondly call her Ancestor, but that day, I was in no mood for that after she took ages to respond, and in her typical fashion, spent half of the time apologizing. Big head. I love her still though.

The main reason why I buzzed Konko at such an odd hour was because I wanted her to send a copy of a piece she had written sometime last year. It was a post about Coffee and something like that. That post was one of the best things to happen to me last year (along with her, of course), it addressed some of the things my heart had warmed up to ever since. I turned a paragraph from that post into a picture and put it up everywhere, it was even my wallpaper. The post has a therapeutic effect on me, it’s been my go-to for times I needed some sorta bump.

I’d been going through something recently that warranted a second look at that post and some of the message it carried. I read it again, and it sent shivers down my spine, just as it had done one year ago. You see, Konko is one of the best writers I know, and good writing is like art, it gets better with time – more valuable and enriching. Every single time I read that post, I always think of asking her if she adorned my mind while writing it, those words were straight from my heart. Short, less than 300 words but deep. The crux of that post talks about being intentional. Nothing is more important to me than humans that are intentional about everything they do, people who do stuff just to while away time irk me. I don’t get the concept of not putting your heart into anything you do, no matter how trivial.

I’ve decided to share this wonderful piece by Konko with you. Do Enjoy!

If we are having coffee, we’d be seated at the far end of the coffee shop, just by the windows, and we’d stare out appreciating nature and passersby for the moment.

Then suddenly, I’d turn and look at you and ask you the most mundane question I can come up with, because, that is the thing. The most important questions are the often the hardest to ask.

So, I venture; “What makes you happy?”

And you look at me, wondering where that came from. 

Then you say: “Everything”.

You think it’s an easy get away from me probing deeper but it’s exactly the kind of response I wanted because it’s not about you at this moment, it’s about me. And my unspoken feelings, unsaid fears, untaken risks, unattained goals and the deep desire to talk about them!

So when you say; “Everything” all I see is this big opportunity to finally let it all out and I grab it before it goes away. 

I start speaking almost breathlessly before my tirade leaves me.

“These are the biggest issues with all of us. Our inability to actually sit still and think deep and look inwards and find the real things. Everything cannot make you happy. It’s absolutely impossible!

To be happy is to be deliberate. To look and to find the things that bring the feeling. You have to be intentional. You have to find it. And it means everything to me when I find people who are actively looking for these things. Being intentional means everything to me. So, are you intentional?”

And you look at me afraid and uncertain about responding because you see the trap in this and you know just where I’m headed.

I give you that sultry smile, and ask again.

“Are you intentional?”

I hope you enjoyed it like I did.

Stay True!