Starting Early: Girls

 

This is the third installment in a new series I started called “Starting Early”. It’s a chronicle of my early and first interaction with some of the things that come to define me today and how they have influenced me greatly. I would share stories of my first contact with Emails, Books, Music, Girls, Internet, Computers, etc. Enjoy! You can read the previous one on how I fell in love with emails here and the one on how I started writing here.

The first interaction I had with a girl was when I was two years old. I had this very beautiful cousin who was roughly my age too, she was a few months older. On my second birthday, we took a picture together in front of my cake, and the picture turned out fine. For some weird reason, everyone thought it was cool to refer to us as husband and wife despite the fact that we were cousins. We would play together, do the whole mummy and daddy games and all that stuff. I grew up getting fond of her until we grew apart at some point mainly because her parents had to relocate to another part of town so they couldn’t come over as frequently as they used to.

The second time was in primary school, I was in primary three or four, there was this girl names Fatima or something (or was it Folake, not sure), I must have forgotten her name. Fatima was one of the finest girls in glass. One time our class teacher, one Mr. Ajetumobi or something flogged me for flopping my book reviews. They had given me a book to read and review, but because I didn’t like the book, I chose another one and read, then came to review the book of my choice, he was having none of it, so he flogged me mercilessly. Fatima was the only person to console me in the whole class, she shared her biscuits with me so I would stop crying, I was crying really mercilessly without shame. Fatima was there by my side. That was how we got close and we became friends. One incident that makes me laugh till today – one time when we were done with school, I was waiting for the driver to come pick me up, and then Fatima walked by, and *drum rolls* I put my hands in my pocket, and then called her, she came and I asked her where she was going to, she said she was going home (wasn’t it obvious??), then with hands still in my pocket, I told her to go on. She gave me a hug and I think I tried to steal a kiss on the cheek like I had seen on TV, I only ended up getting one on her shoulder, I didn’t have the guts to go through with the original plan. I felt so good that day that I could call Fatima with my hands in my pocket and she could come. We would share our lunch and do every other thing together. You know, I’m not even sure her name is Fatima, but I’m pretty sure it starts with an “F”. I had to leave town abruptly and change schools so we lost touch. Never been in touch with her ever since. Didn’t even know I still harboured these fond memories of her before I started writing this.

There were several other interactions with girls but they were pretty much subdued because I had gotten involved in church, was a Child Pastor, knew the ills of adultery and fornication so I didn’t even bother coming close to girls. I used to be so immune to “girl-awe” that at some point people thought I was abnormal – it wasn’t a thing to be gay then so no one felt I was gay – but even at some point, I had to ask myself if I was normal until I met one girl. Her name was Stephanie, I was in JS 2 or something, she must have been the first girl I made knew I liked her, we were both young so it was a bit funny to us. She changed schools before anything could even materialize.

Hold on, I can’t really go about mentioning names. I’ve had encounters with a whole lot of girls. I remember one time I when I had to hide my number to talk to one girl in my class, I’d steal lines from those “200+ Text Messages” books and send her romantic messages about how my heart burns for her and blehhh, then one time I called her, she kept trying to figure out who it was until I blew my cover. I couldn’t even talk to her the next day in class. That was the end. Or was it the one time I sent a girl a text telling her I loved her, and then she called me almost immediately saying she loved me too and asked for us to meet the next day. I was freaked out, I didn’t know what it meant to love someone, I was so naive, the next day I ran away and kept avoiding her till she got tired and got angry with me.

So many funny memories. I grew up seeing a relationship as a sin, and basically trying to struggle against the desires of my flesh and the things I had been taught in church. That struggle continued all through my adolescence until I getting to the tail end of my teenage years. And I wonder what my life would have been if I was taught earlier on. The first time I felt I was in love or so, I remember asking myself if this was what if felt like, it felt so wonderful that I was angry that I had missed out all through the years.

On the flipside, that orientation helped me in my interactions with girls, was never distracted or neither did I try to be phony. As a result, I got very good with the girls, had many of them as friends, I think my best friendships have been with females. I also like the fact that I was introduced to this world of emotions late, at least it meant I was able to do something meaningful during my teenage years.

The first time I tried to ask a girl out, I had to google, then do rehearsals with my friends and memorized all my lines, it was quite funny, and then when it turned out well, I was happy. I remember all the taunts I used to get back in school from friends who always went through the length to remind me of how I was not making moves. So, when I finally got one over the line, at my first attempt too, I felt good. I actually have a good record of not having any girl say no to me ever. But that is also because I’m not driven by testosterone or other hormones. I would advice young boys to leave women, these days I don’t see them as a big deal, I don’t even think there’s any female I can’t walk up to, because I grew up seeing them not as sexual objects but as honorable species. That respect remains visible when I talk with them, it gets mutual.

So yeah, that’s my early experience with girls

 

Stay True!

Miracle Roch.

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Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

There’s this daily prompt thing by WordPress where they give you topic suggestions. I decided to have a look at it today and this topic suggestion got me interested. This was just top of my head, fictionalized of course. I tried to find a real Muse, but couldn’t.

Will we ever live happily ever after?We’ve fought too many fights for a beginning as tender as ours

There’s no denying you bring out the creativity in me

The relief from your lips can’t compare to the Falls at Lake Victoria
In my head we are done

I don’t see a future with our vast differences

But I also didn’t see Donald Trump winning

Unlike the Election, I’d be happy to be proved wrong

We bicker too much, even without talking

Only human to wonder the hell that will be let loose

When we get deep thronged into our bodies on a regular

But I also said the explosive Kimye wouldn’t last six months

I really want us to work forever

Like banish our demons and glow

But the facts are not in our favour and the projections are dim

Well, they were in Hillary’s but we know how that ended

I don’t like how you give others priority more than me

Nor how you waste your time on people you have no business with

I hate that you are not firm in your decisions

I’m bewildered at how you live life without intelligence

More shocked at how beautiful you are

How your smile radiates better than the sun

How you do these so effortlessly

And still call yourself ordinary

This is probably a lost cause

‘Cause you are so set in your ways

You wouldn’t bat an eyelid for a change

But I’d still give it one last shot

And another one.

And yet another shot

I’d hold on to any slight chance for us to live

Happily ever after.

 

Stay True!

Miracle Roch

Relationship Lessons

Ok, so my guess is you’ve been in a relationship for too long and you are already getting disgruntled. You have gotten overtaken by jealousy, even wondering if you are still in love, picking out faults from the boo, getting irritated and evens shocked at your actions. Calm down, it’s all natural. A relationship isn’t rocket science, it’s systematic, you have to work, it isn’t something that just springs out of the blues begins to make sense. I’m gonna be dropping a few things here to help you before you capsize your relationSHIP.

  • Never use the word “think” carelessly. They always want to be sure you know what you’re talking about. When you say “I think I love you”, you are sure to hear them exclaim “think!” No one wants to stay with someone who sees them as just a thought. They want to be overly sure.
  • It’s normal for you to wait for them. Don’t get agitated when you have a function to attend with the boo and you end up waiting for over 30 minutes. It’s inborn in them to always pay attention to the smallest detail whenever they have to go out so chill, it’s nothing personal.
  • Others guys will make passes. The fact that you see them with other guys doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t see you as priority. If the boo is very pretty, you don’t expect other guys not to see the same gorgeousness you saw. It doesn’t mean the boo doesn’t see you as priority or anything but then you need to understand she’s got a life that doesn’t need to revolve only around you. Actually, getting to talk to these other guys improves your worth.
  • Her whole time isn’t for you. Dude! She had a life way before she met you, you don’t expect her life to suddenly come to a halt and experience a U-turn just because you came around, truth remains her life is paramount and comes first before any other’s.
  • She mustn’t tell you everything. Never ever judge her love for you based on what she says. So don’t feel short-changed because you feel she doesn’t say too many things with her mouth.
  • You must adulate her. Truth is, 80% of her dress choice is influenced by you, she wants to look good for you, it’s gon’ be cruel if after going through the stress, she doesn’t get a word of approval from you. Always tell her how good she is looking, and on days when she isn’t looking good, find a way to subtly tell her.
  • Don’t try to impress her. Never try to do anything that will impress her, she loved you with all your rustiness and raggedness, what makes you think she would appreciated a better you? Be who you are, don’t try to do too much as you could spoil her installed prototype of you.
  • She mustn’t return you call. Yes! You called her, she didn’t pick, after sometime you call again only to realise she’s on the phone with some other person. Calm down, it’s nothing to be worried about, you have been leveraged. The fact she didn’t call don’t mean she don’t love you.
  • Don’t ask her too many probing questions. With time, she’ll get to tell you all the things you need to know about her and yes! You don’t even need to know everything. Don’t be too fast and ask her about the boy you saw her with, the girl you saw her with and stuff. They like it when you don’t because eventually, they will.
  • Trust her even against the odds. Yes, you’ve made a decision to love her and you probably had other choices yet you chose her. Stick with her even when the odds are stacked against trusting her, believe in her judgement, and believe in her actions. In the long run, it will pay off.
  • Tell her things when you need to. Whenever there is a rising need to talk to her, don’t form hard man about it. Nothing weak in seemingly telling someone you love something you think you need to.
  • Never hesitate to let her know how you feel. Oh! she just said something you didn’t like, don’t bottle it, she needs to know what it is you dint like, not telling her isn’t gonna help matters.
  • She’s always right. You have to be ready to be the one apologizing all the time, even when you shouldn’t. You have to make her feel alright and in charge whenever she’s around you that way she develops a security around you. Never ever argue with her, don’t even imagine it, you’ll always end up on the losing side.
  • Love her. Adore her. Love her. Ain’t nothing like been with the woman you love. Love really trumps all the other nitty gritties. Love does. Even when your back is against the wall, keep loving.
  • She won’t tell you. But whenever a need arises, make do to settle it especially when you have the resources to do so.
  • Love isn’t enough. There is no doubting that fact you genuinely love her, yes you do but you need more than love to make it work. You need firm decisions, you need someone you submit too, submission is key. Love is just one facet out of many things you need for a relationship to work.

Apply these things and soon you’d be seeing the boo these days with tons of guys and it wouldn’t get you worried, you wouldn’t even take it for a pinch of salt. Your love for her is there. Her actions don’t affect it. You’d love her not because she pays more attention to you, not because she calls you sweet name but simply because she is who she is. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Stay True!

 

Miracle Roch.

Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan

Romantic Love

Ok, let’s talk about a little romance. A little kissing, a little touching, a little talking, a little this, a little that. Should we talk about someone that’s been introduced to these things lately and has been grappling with them? Someone who doesn’t know where to draw the line, doesn’t even know if there’s any line at all. Should we in our usual way, try to talk about this situation without giving hard and fast rules?
How about we talk about how far you should go when you’re in a relationship with someone you really love and who loves you back. The fact that you both love yourselves, should that be a criteria to go all the way?
If we continue this way, we may end up not talking about anything at all but that wouldn’t hinder this page from being full. I think we should talk about romance, we should talk about love from the perspective of a Christian. Why is there so much fuss generated whenever a Christian is involved in some lovey-dovey? Why are people quick to judge whenever a Christian goes out with another?
So romance they say is an addiction, they say you should fall in love first then romance naturally comes into play. They tell you to find a good Christian girl when it’s time to marry but they never tell you to find a good Christian girl when it’s time to fall in love. Your heart just follows the tide and most often than not, because you haven’t fallen in love with a “good Christian girl”, you find a reason to break up with whom you actually love and begin the search for a good Christian girl. Good luck with that search as you’d need it.
You know sometimes I feel God utmost desire is for us His children to become romantically involved with the opposite sex, for us to be in love with the opposite sex. That’s probably part of the reason why he had to create Eve for Adam. Eve wasn’t just a helper, Eve was someone Adam could channel some inborn drive towards, that’s why most of the love gestures should come from the male. It’s inborn. By channelling this inborn drive towards a woman, towards Eve, Adam begins to really discover what it is about God that has made Him go all through all he has just for us. But then I feel God looks down, he sees how blinded his children have been about the concept of love and shakes his head. Love is a beautiful thing, yes, I mean that kinda love that makes your heart skip a beat, that kind that makes you want to spend your last dime on her, that kind that makes you think about her all the time, which makes you want to be with her all the time. Brother, it’s not a sin, it’s not wrong either to feel these things long before marriage. By feeling like this and learning to channel these feelings rightly, you begin to know more of God. This is no fallacy, take note. These feelings aren’t worth wasting just 5 minutes of adrenalin rush into sex, these feelings are worth more precious time, these feelings are worth more, these feelings make you do things that will leave an impact, these feelings are magical, these feelings are inexplicable.
You love somebody and you’re really sure it’s love? Boy make that first move, let her know, there’s nothing wrong in telling her you don’t even know what to do next, there’s nothing wrong in telling her you were nervous about making your feelings known, there’s nothing wrong in telling her how she makes you feel. Nothing absolutely wrong. Let the feelings flow, let the romance begin and see how you react to it, see how you battle with your being, see how loves overtakes you, see how love turns you into a motivational speaker, see how it turns you into a better man, be prepared to also see it bring out the beast in you but then calmly controls that beast to unleash the angel inherent in you too. It could go sour if you don’t channel that romance into the right tunnel, it could go wrong if it wasn’t love at first but if it was love…love never goes wrong, love never does wrong, love never “nevers”.
Love someone from the opposite sex, you’ll feel good, you’ll discover new things, you’ll get to understand love better. Love is so powerful that it can make you do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do.
I’m not resting my case yet.

Stay True!

Miracle Roch
Follow me on Twitter @Mr_GudMan