This is the third installment in a new series I started called “Starting Early”. It’s a chronicle of my early and first interaction with some of the things that come to define me today and how they have influenced me greatly. I would share stories of my first contact with Emails, Books, Music, Girls, Internet, Computers, etc. Enjoy! You can read the previous one on how I fell in love with emails here and the one on how I started writing here.
The first interaction I had with a girl was when I was two years old. I had this very beautiful cousin who was roughly my age too, she was a few months older. On my second birthday, we took a picture together in front of my cake, and the picture turned out fine. For some weird reason, everyone thought it was cool to refer to us as husband and wife despite the fact that we were cousins. We would play together, do the whole mummy and daddy games and all that stuff. I grew up getting fond of her until we grew apart at some point mainly because her parents had to relocate to another part of town so they couldn’t come over as frequently as they used to.
The second time was in primary school, I was in primary three or four, there was this girl names Fatima or something (or was it Folake, not sure), I must have forgotten her name. Fatima was one of the finest girls in glass. One time our class teacher, one Mr. Ajetumobi or something flogged me for flopping my book reviews. They had given me a book to read and review, but because I didn’t like the book, I chose another one and read, then came to review the book of my choice, he was having none of it, so he flogged me mercilessly. Fatima was the only person to console me in the whole class, she shared her biscuits with me so I would stop crying, I was crying really mercilessly without shame. Fatima was there by my side. That was how we got close and we became friends. One incident that makes me laugh till today – one time when we were done with school, I was waiting for the driver to come pick me up, and then Fatima walked by, and *drum rolls* I put my hands in my pocket, and then called her, she came and I asked her where she was going to, she said she was going home (wasn’t it obvious??), then with hands still in my pocket, I told her to go on. She gave me a hug and I think I tried to steal a kiss on the cheek like I had seen on TV, I only ended up getting one on her shoulder, I didn’t have the guts to go through with the original plan. I felt so good that day that I could call Fatima with my hands in my pocket and she could come. We would share our lunch and do every other thing together. You know, I’m not even sure her name is Fatima, but I’m pretty sure it starts with an “F”. I had to leave town abruptly and change schools so we lost touch. Never been in touch with her ever since. Didn’t even know I still harboured these fond memories of her before I started writing this.
There were several other interactions with girls but they were pretty much subdued because I had gotten involved in church, was a Child Pastor, knew the ills of adultery and fornication so I didn’t even bother coming close to girls. I used to be so immune to “girl-awe” that at some point people thought I was abnormal – it wasn’t a thing to be gay then so no one felt I was gay – but even at some point, I had to ask myself if I was normal until I met one girl. Her name was Stephanie, I was in JS 2 or something, she must have been the first girl I made knew I liked her, we were both young so it was a bit funny to us. She changed schools before anything could even materialize.
Hold on, I can’t really go about mentioning names. I’ve had encounters with a whole lot of girls. I remember one time I when I had to hide my number to talk to one girl in my class, I’d steal lines from those “200+ Text Messages” books and send her romantic messages about how my heart burns for her and blehhh, then one time I called her, she kept trying to figure out who it was until I blew my cover. I couldn’t even talk to her the next day in class. That was the end. Or was it the one time I sent a girl a text telling her I loved her, and then she called me almost immediately saying she loved me too and asked for us to meet the next day. I was freaked out, I didn’t know what it meant to love someone, I was so naive, the next day I ran away and kept avoiding her till she got tired and got angry with me.
So many funny memories. I grew up seeing a relationship as a sin, and basically trying to struggle against the desires of my flesh and the things I had been taught in church. That struggle continued all through my adolescence until I getting to the tail end of my teenage years. And I wonder what my life would have been if I was taught earlier on. The first time I felt I was in love or so, I remember asking myself if this was what if felt like, it felt so wonderful that I was angry that I had missed out all through the years.
On the flipside, that orientation helped me in my interactions with girls, was never distracted or neither did I try to be phony. As a result, I got very good with the girls, had many of them as friends, I think my best friendships have been with females. I also like the fact that I was introduced to this world of emotions late, at least it meant I was able to do something meaningful during my teenage years.
The first time I tried to ask a girl out, I had to google, then do rehearsals with my friends and memorized all my lines, it was quite funny, and then when it turned out well, I was happy. I remember all the taunts I used to get back in school from friends who always went through the length to remind me of how I was not making moves. So, when I finally got one over the line, at my first attempt too, I felt good. I actually have a good record of not having any girl say no to me ever. But that is also because I’m not driven by testosterone or other hormones. I would advice young boys to leave women, these days I don’t see them as a big deal, I don’t even think there’s any female I can’t walk up to, because I grew up seeing them not as sexual objects but as honorable species. That respect remains visible when I talk with them, it gets mutual.
So yeah, that’s my early experience with girls