In life, you win some, you lose some. You can never expect to win all. You can only try to ensure that those you win become far greater than the few you’d lose.
There’s a group of people regularly referred to as bad losers. These are the set of people who refuse to see the glass as half full whenever they lose. These are the set of people that are so distraught at losing that it envelopes their whole thinking faculty.
I can only try to visualize the motions Thomas Edison would have gone through if he was a bad loser, what would have become of Einstein when he was experiencing failures in his reading and writing, how Abraham Lincoln would have thrown the towel after he failed yet another election.
Point is, you never ever go far if you’ve got a bad attitude to losing. If you never ever get to see any loss as a stepping stone, if a loss never motivates you to do more and do better then you’ve got a long road to glory.
These set of people referred to as bad losers all have one thing in common, they are all always after personal glory. Show me one person who went far and achieved a high level of impact when chasing personal glory from the onset? No one.
I write this post on the back of one of the most epic Scrabble games I’ve played so far. There’s this guy I had never won before in Scrabble, we’ve played almost 10 games and I was still chasing after my first win. I always smiled amidst all those losses and kept studying his game play and also improving mine.
Finally, it was time all those studies paid off and here I was winning him mercilessly, you needed to see how his demeanor changed drastically, at some point he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to tear up the score sheet. He just couldn’t bear the thought of losing.
Here’s someone whose record against me looked like a tennis score, something like 6-1. Isn’t that satisfactory enough? Here was a bad loser looking me in the eye, how’d you ever improve or get better at anything if you feel it’s your birthright to always win?
Life in its whole context is a game where your experiences are consequences of the individual battles you have either won or lost. And the faster you learn from these experiences, the better your chances of winning the next battle, but the more you keep getting disgruntled at your losing experiences the more they linger. This isn’t rocket science.
In mathematics, a variation of this logic is called the Geometric Progression and an important term is the common ratio. This common ratio is the relationship a number in a sequence has with the next one, it’s a fixed common term repeated throughout the sequence. This is exactly the same with our dealings with life.
Your resolve is the common ratio here, never confuse your common ratio with your win ratio, your win ratio has no right to be constant. It’s the constancy of your common ratio that determines your win ratio. Now imagine what happens when you allow the motions of winning/losing allow you vary your common ratio, you see that the sequence is distorted.
The top sport coaches will always tell you they train their team hard right from when the season starts, they don’t wait till the finals of a major tournament to start training hard. That discipline is inculcated from the onset. If you wait till you get to the final to intensify training sessions then you’ll never get to any final. It’s that simple. You don’t allow your emotions to be swayed around by either losing or winning. Even in the rare occasions where you train hard and still get to lose, you don’t throw in the towel, you simply keep at it until you master it; this is the art of mastery.
You hardly ever learn something when you win but there’s always a whole lot to learn when you fail.
Whatever happens, always remember; you win some; you lose some.