#IWD2017 – I Have Loved Only One Woman

There’s a woman in my life who has been there all through and she’s the only one I have loved completely.

When I was six years old, she had to stay away from me. The six months while she was away was hell, I kept seeing her shadow everywhere. I couldn’t stay without having her around the house, I’d go to bed crying, I’d head to the dining table with teary eyes as I munch my food. It was worse in school, I couldn’t concentrate. Before that term, my worst end-of-term result had been 3rd position (which happened just once), this particular term when she was not around I came 16th. It was a total disaster.

The theme for the 2017 International Women’s Day was “Be Bold For Change” and this particular woman has exemplified boldness all through my life.

Her first act of courage and boldness was housing me in her stomach for 11 months, you know she went against prevailing medical advice to have me shunted out of her womb dead and persevered to house me no matter how long it took. More than two decades later, the significance of that singular decision continues to be on the rise. It set the tone for countless daunting acts she undertook.

Been raised singlehandedly by one woman is no small feat. This woman did a great job raising me, she gave me the freedom I needed at an early age to express my exuberance and grow on all fours. Countless times, I’ve seen her put her hand on the plough and not look back against all odds.

If there’s anyone who has been bold enough to effect change, it is this woman. I’ve learnt perseverance from her. At a time when the calls for equality and women rights are becoming mainstream, it is worth noting that the woman I have known and loved is one who has never allowed the misguided construct of society to stop her from getting what she wanted.

You know why this is profound? Never for once did I see her fight for something that wasn’t to my benefit. When she was buying her first car, she kept looking for a car that would be easy for me to drive. When she was getting her first mobile phone, she let me make the decision, as she wanted something I’d like. When it was time to make a new hair, she always made sure it was something I’d be comfortable with (in all honesty, I had no clues about female hairstyles either ways).

If society must improve perception towards women, then we must go back to individual experiences and first contact with women. I didn’t grow up seeing women as the weaker gender, on the contrary, I grew up seeing the Woman as the brain and engine. It is that image that has stuck with me on the way up.

If women are to be championed for change, then we must allow them do what they are capable of. I didn’t grow up seeing a woman waiting on society to offer a convenient environment for her to go after her aspirations; I grew up looking up to a woman who took the bull by the horn. Not once, not twice.

At the slightest hint of discomfort for her six-year-old boy, she left all she was doing and came to get me, and believe me, this was not a convenient decision. She knew I couldn’t live without her and she was prepared to offer me that security and assurance of thought.

I have come to know a woman who has never failed to put me at the crux of all the major decisions she’s had to make in life. She is the first woman I have loved; if there’d be a second, she’d have to take lessons from the first to even come close.

This is a tribute to my mother; my best friend.

I love you.

Son,

Miracle Roch.

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Dear Son, Chase Women

Dear Son,

Chase women. Please chase women.

When God looked at the first man He created, he couldn’t think of any better partner for him save a woman. Trust me, women possess some magic. I plan to devote a large chunk of my life deciphering what exactly this magic is; I plan to do this with your mom.

When you see those beautiful creatures in skirt, don’t shy away, don’t lose your cool. Take your time and admire them, and walk up to them and tell them how beautiful they are. But make sure it ends there.

I have chased a few women in my small life and boy, it’s been fun. I have also done this without losing my sanity nor virginity. I haven’t left hearts broken neither – at least none that I know of. And this my Son, is the prototype you must follow.

As a result of my dexterity in the art of women chasing, I’ve become acquainted with quite a few. Apparently, these women folks find it hard to let go of a guy that admires them for who they are and not because he wants to get into their pants. So as a result, they find it hard to let go of me.

Boy, you must be proud of your dad. I do admit though that this could be catastrophic. I know I’m not supposed to have a clue as to who your mommy should be while I’m still 21 but the alarming thing is I don’t even know if I’ve met her yet or not. I do feel I haven’t met her though, given my dexterity, daddy should be able to know at first impulse who mommy is gonna be.

But Son, why am I urging you to chase women? The answer is not far-fetched. They are wonderful creatures but most importantly, they are “help meets”. Daddy recently found himself in some fix, and he reached out to his friends. He reached out to two guys and three girls.

The first guy tried to do something, it didn’t work out; he gave up. Not because he was a bad guy, no! He’s actually a good guy, but then it’s been ingrained into his make up (like every other guy) not to worry about peasant things. The second guy tried for one more day and gave up. Again, not because he didn’t want to help but because he’s simply a guy.

Son, let’s talk about the three girls. For the first girl, I hadn’t been in touch with her for a very long time, so I called her and told her to help me with stuff, almost immediately she started running around despite her charades of anger, she still went about doing stuff. She understood immediately which was more important, the urgent stuff I had at hand, of course son, trust women to always remind you of your wrong deed later. No matter how long it takes.

Let’s not go into details of how the other two girls fared, but one was willing to spend her money, the other was willing to spend her time. Now, note dear son that these women, I haven’t gotten close to their pants before. I don’t even plan on coming close. In fact, none of them is going to be your mommy, but I chased all these women. I may not have done it directly, but I did put myself in a position where they had to yearn for more of me.

Now this is what I expect you to do, don’t chase women like the other riff-raffs do. You have a different mission. Your mission is to become like dad – know as many women as possible because they will all come in handy at some point in your life. Make them your friends.

At some point, you will need one to cook for you, wash for you, pray for you, look after you, do stuff for you, all with no string attached. Never forget, don’t attach any strings at all, it will jeopardize the whole thing. Son, I don’t know if I should give you an example of how daddy denied you a beautiful future mommy because he attached strings way too early, but that wouldn’t be necessary as I already found a better mom for you. But still get my point.

Chase women Son, get to know plenty. Walk up to them and tell them their lipstick is smacking. Give them tight hugs, make them feel loved without wanting anything in return. This way, you have them at your beck and call, this way, they serve their real purpose in your life – help meets.

Every woman in your life is in it for a reason, to provide help and nothing else. Don’t turn them into an emotional support, don’t toy with their feelings, and when you do find one like your mom, don’t let her go. Marry her.

 

Dad.

 

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Stay True!

Miracle Roch